The Ultimate Music To Write To – Death Letter

If you can’t feel the creative juices flowing listening to Son House, you’re dead inside.  That’s about as bold a statement as I will ever make… well that and I think the guy who invented Cheetos should win the Nobel Prize every year.  C’mon… all that cheesiness and that crunchiosity… They should actually just rename the Nobel Prize the Guy Who Invented Cheetos Prize. 


I Lost My Manhood Today


Somehow, somewhere I apparently agreed to go see the Sex in the City Sex and the City movie.   Of course, I am prone to not listening at home so I’m guessing my wife got me to agree shortly after I turned on the automatic “Yes, dear” reply in my head.  If so, then I got what I deserved.   There is nothing slightly masculine about the movie.  They even managed to make Chris Noth feminine.  This is more than a chick flick.  It’s an all out chick assault.  It’s possible I may have grown female body parts while sitting in the movie theater.  I suddenly am worried about what shoes I’m going to wear to work tomorrow, and I’m actually feeling bloated.  I’ve never felt bloated, or if I have, I’ve never expressed it that way before.

Here’s my review.  The movie is long and interrupted by periodic sniffles from the women in the audience at what may or may not be inappropriate moments (Should you really cry when Carrie gets the closet of her dreams?)  Possible side effects if you’re a man could be questioning your own sexuality and deep feelings of regret for wearing a black belt with brown shoes when that kind of thing never mattered before.

If you have a Y chromosome and are not attracted to people with Y chromosomes, don’t see this movie.  If you are one of the Y chromosome types who’s married, start listening to your wife now so she can’t trick you into seeing this movie.  Pray for me!

Next week we’re seeing Batman!

Ernest Hemingway’s Son Celebrates 80th Birthday

Patrick Hemingway turned 80 today.  What’s it like being the son of one of America’s greatest writers?  NPR did an interview with the E-man’s offspring and asked just that.   

Hemingway’s Son Marks 80th Birthday

Ape Rights – Spanish Parliament Goes Ape Over Apes

The Spanish Parliament has awarded the great apes the rights to freedom and life. I’m not sure what that means, but hey, they’re Spanish. What are you going to do? I’m not necessarily against this, but it rings kind of hollow when they won’t be releasing Apes from the 70 or so zoos in Spain. Kind of goes against the whole “freedom” thing. And since when do humans have the power to grant “life.” Isn’t that really a function of nature and the universe? This is from the article:

Spain’s parliament voiced its support on Wednesday for the rights of great apes to life and freedom in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans.

Most of us have a species of animal we feel a special connection to. If you’ve read my books, you know that for me it’s gorillas. I understand more than anyone the importance of “protecting” great apes, but it’s not possible to grant them the same rights as humans. I’m all for ape rights. We shouldn’t be conducting scientific experiments on apes. We shouldn’t be hunting them for food or sport. We shouldn’t allow them to disappear from the face of the earth without a fight. But granting them “life and freedom” may make that fight a literal fight. How? The mountain gorillas in the Congo are being slaughtered by militants. Not for food or sport, but as a warning to the rangers in that region that are there to protect the gorillas. The militants are sending a message that the region is theirs and the rangers aren’t welcome. If more countries or even the UN adopts giving human rights to apes, the International community woud have no choice but to take military action to prevent the “genocide” of the mountain gorillas. Are we prepared as a species to take that step? Trust me, I wouldn’t shed a tear over a few dead thugs who kill innocent gorillas for no other reason than to claim dominion over their territory, but do I want to protect the gorilla at the cost of war? I have to admit I’m tempted to say yes. That’s how important I think the gorillas are. That’s the danger of giving apes human rights. You have to worry about people like me taking the status to its extreme.

How about you, are you willing to go to war to save apes from extinction? Should our species go to any lengths to save other species?

BTW – This just in from Spain. Bulls are still screwed.

I Should Have Stopped Looking

I was just about to sign off for the night.  I was closing down Youtube when I saw this title for a video: 9 year old guitarist Quin playing his original song.  Having just discovered Quinn Sullivan, I assumed it was him and decided to watch.  It was a different guitar prodigy named Quin (only one ‘n’ in this Quin’s name).  The kid is playing a Washburn 12 string – playing it like it was born in his hands.  The song he wrote is even awesome.  Man, did I waste my life or what?  My ego is totally shredded.  This guitar genius’ name is Quintin Golonka, and I have this sneaking suspicion where going to hear a lot from the dueling guitar Quin(n)’s over the next several decades. 


It’s Prodigy Day Here In My Bloggerhood

GuitarSo to deflate my ego even more (See my earlier post) I scoured the webosphere for even more talented, and younger people than me.  Sadly, they are not hard to find.  I’m probably coming in late on this one, but guitar prodigy Quinn Sullivan is amazing.  This one doesn’t sting as much as the book deal to a 19-year-old in Great Britian because I took two-years of guitar lessons when I was a kid, and I never even learned how to properly tune the instrument let alone play it.  Sullivan was eight when the video below was shot.  Blues great Buddy Guy invited him onstage to play, and even he didn’t expect the kid to be as good as he was.  It’s fun to watch the genuine joy in Guy’s face as he discovers this great talent.  It’s a little less than 10 minutes long, but I encourage you to stick with it.  There are great moments throughout. 

Pardon Me While I Scream!

I just read a story in the New York Post about Catherine Banner. She is a 19-year-old Cambridge student that signed a multi-book deal with Random House. Her book, The Eyes of a King, is currently ranked 3,474 on Amazon (Very respectable ranking). She’s being called the next J.K. Rowling.

Are you kidding me? First of all, that is monumentally unfair for Banner. Rowling has sold over 400 million copies worldwide. That’s some awful big shoes to fill. She should be allowed to find her own audience without those kinds of expectations.

Second, I’m the next J.K. Rowling! Just kidding. My books are nothing like the Harry Potter series. I think Banner is getting the comparison because she’s British and her story involves magic, and a parentless boy.

Here’s a particularly annoying part from the NY Post story:

Banner was 14 at the time. She wrote the 435-page story in a year, scribbling with pen and paper up to 30 hours a week – between homework assignments.

A year later, Banner approached an agent at a local literary festival. “I’m 16, do you think that’s too young to start writing?” she asked him.

“He asked if I had written a book. I said I had, and he said, ‘Why don’t you send it to me?’

“I sent it off, and he got back to me . . . We decided to release it after school, so it was released this year.”

Yes, I’m jealous. Yes, I’m bitter. No, I don’t have access to any sharp objects. Please note, I don’t have a problem with a 19-year-old girl getting a publishing contract. I have a problem with one particular 42-year-old man not getting a publishing contract. I’m happy for her. No, seriously… I am.

George Carlin Dies at 71

CarlinGeorge Carlin the man who famously took on the FCC through his “The seven words you can’t say on television” comedy routine died of heart failure on Sunday.  Carlin was a stand-up comedian’s stand-up comedian.  His routines were not for the timid.  There were no sacred cows to George Carlin.  He was the only comedian I ever heard do a routine about cancer and make it funny.   

You can get more details about his passing here: Carlin, counterculture comedians’ dean, dies at 71