Forbes Names Highest Paid Authors – I didn’t Make the List

Forbes (the magazine voted most-likely to make me feel like a complete failure by highlighting everyone else’s success – Gee, thanks a lot Forbes!) has released their list of highest paid authors last year.  The names on the list aren’t as surprising as the enormous amounts of money they made.  Someone needs to tell these people that New York Magazine has declared the publishing industry dead and buried.  How dare they make money!  Here’s the top five (Note: these are earnings in single year):

J.K. Rowling – $300 million

James Patterson – $50 Million

Stephen King – $45 Million

Tom Clancy – $35 Million

Danielle Steel – $30 Million

Okay, people, you notice whose name is missing from that last?  Mine.  I’m never going to make it at the rate you are buying my books.  What do I have to do to get you in one of my books today?  I’ll throw in the undercoating and trailer hitch at no extra cost.  C’mon let’s do this thing.  Let’s get you behind the pages of my books.  With a little luck and lot of elbow grease, I’ll make that Forbes list next year.    

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