Meeting Buttafuoco


My last name sounds like an Italian swear word!

"My last name sounds like an Italian swear word!"

While in the NYC yesterday, I met Mary Jo Buttafuoco.  Why?  Duh, it’s Mary Jo Buttafuoco.  I was there.  She was there.  It just kind of happened.  What was she like?  We talked for 30 seconds.  Who knows?  She didn’t spit on me or punch me in the face, so unless I hear she said some crappy things about me after I left, let’s just say she’s nice.

I’ll be back in normal blogging mode tomorrow.

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Lost Days – Post 13

This is the 13th installment of the book I am currently writing. It is Sci-Fi/Adventure for young adult. It is not part of the Oz Chronicle series. The first draft is completed, and it is currently under review by my agent, so the final version of the book will most likely look a bit different than what you read here, but I thought you might like to see a work in progress. Click on the “Lost Days Book” category on the right to read from the beginning. Or you can click here.

Denise hounded me for information on the walk home. Did I think Joyner really liked me? What was I going to wear to school tomorrow? Did I think one of his friends would be interested in going out with her? Blah, blah, blah. It was annoying as hell, but it was much better than Owen’s reaction to the whole thing. He walked with us in monk-like silence. Normally he’s boring us with some inane video game news, but he was mad. He may be the only guy in the entire county that doesn’t like T.J. Joyner, and I suddenly couldn’t understand why.

We cut through the Burtons’ yard to get to my grandparents’ house. As soon as we rounded the hedges, I gasped at the sight of a police car parked on the street. Granddaddy was talking to a young, lean officer. I wanted to hide. I don’t know why because I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I immediately felt guilty just by the cop’s mere presence.

“Doug?” Owen said.

I turned to him. “You know him?”

“That’s my cousin.”

I looked at the officer and then back at Owen. The conversation we had in his basement played over in my head. “You told him, didn’t you?”

He gave me a look of terror. “I didn’t know it was a secret.”

I set my jaw and seriously thought about punching him. “You idiot,” I groaned.

“I told him I thought you were crazy. I told him that I didn’t think your uncle did it. C’mon… I didn’t know… he didn’t seem to be interested when I told him. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“What’s going on?” Denise asked.

“Owen’s an über douche, that’s what’s going on.”

“Hayley,” my grandfather yelled. He was using his calm voice. It was completely contrived and controlled. You could tell that there was a little ball of anger hiding in his tone. He was doing everything he could to hold it back. “Come here, honey.”

Honey? He never called me honey. I walked the green mile with Owen on my left and Denise on my right.

Granddaddy was clenching his jaw so hard I could see his jowls quiver. In a scary, even tone, he asked Owen and Denise to run on home because I was going to be tied up with a few things for the rest of the day. I dreaded to find out what those few things were. Owen and Denise said their goodbyes. When granddaddy and the officer weren’t looking, Denise gestured for me to call her.

Granddaddy spoke. “Do you have something to tell me, Hayley?”

I unveiled my doe-eyed look and said, “No.”

“Nothing about Crew you want to tell me?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know.”

He sighed. “Which is it, no or I don’t know?”

“Sir,” Owen’s cousin said. “May I?”

Granddaddy nodded.

“Ms. Wilkes, my name is Officer Doogan. I’m Owen’s cousin.”

“I know,” I said.

“Good. Last night Owen confided in me that you had some concerns about your uncle’s activities recently. In particular, two nights ago. Is that correct?”

“What do you mean concerns?” I asked.

He remained patient. “Did you or did you not witness your uncle leaving the premises with a suspicious looking gentleman late in the evening?”

I looked at my granddaddy, but he was so disgusted with me he turned away. “I… It was my uncle and his friend J-Rob.”

The officer pulled out a small pad of paper and pen, and started writing. “And how do you know this J-Rob?”

“I met him yesterday… in granddaddy’s garage.”

The officer peered over at my granddaddy. “Mr. Stanton?”

“Don’t look at me,” my granddaddy said. “I didn’t know J-Rob was in town.”

“But you know him?”

“I do. He and my son were…” Granddaddy hesitated. I could see the wheels in his brain turning. He was looking for the best way to explain Uncle Crew and J-Rob’s relationship. “They were roommates in a mental health facility.”

The officer sounded out mental health as he wrote it down. “Why would these gentlemen need mental health care, sir?”

“They’re good boys, Officer.”

“I have no reason to doubt that, sir. But I would be negligent in my duties to serve and protect if I didn’t ask why your son and his friend needed such intense psychiatric care.”

Granddaddy rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I’m not a doctor. All I can tell you is that they had some rough times. They were never a danger to others. Just themselves. The facility helped them cope. They both completed the treatment program. I can’t speak for J-Rob, but Crew is on his meds. Never misses a pill.”

“Meds?” The officer asked.

“For depression.” Granddaddy forced a laugh. “Hell, half the county’s on them these days.”

The officer nodded. “And is it unusual for your son to make late night trips like the one your granddaughter observed.”

I wasn’t so sure granddaddy was going to still claim me as his granddaughter after this.

“No,” granddaddy said. “It’s not unusual. He does it quite often.”

“But your granddaughter’s never observed it before.”

“She hasn’t been here long enough.” He scolded me with his eyes. “Crew has an… eccentric hobby.”

“Eccentric? What would that be, sir?”

Granddaddy’s shoulder dropped. His whole body seemed to shrink. “He’s a Bigfoot researcher.”

The officer stopped writing. He eased the tip of the pen off the paper and examined granddaddy’s face. “I’m sorry, sir, but could you repeat that?”

“Crew is a Bigfoot researcher.”

“He hunts Bigfoot?”

“No, he doesn’t hunt Bigfoot…” Granddaddy ran his callused hands through his gray hair and took a deep breath. “I know it sounds strange, but my son studies Bigfoot… only he doesn’t call it Bigfoot.”

“What does he call it?” The officer was fighting a chuckle.

Exasperated granddaddy said, “Don’t know. I’m not the one who researches it.” He took a second to collect himself. “You’re going to have to ask Crew if you really want to know.”

The officer raised an eyebrow as if surprised by the suggestion. “Is he here?”

“He is,” granddaddy said. “In his room.”

The officer looked at me. “Do you have anything to add, Ms. Wilkes?”

I thought about the question. “Just that I’m going to strangle your cousin for opening his big mouth.”

He smiled. “Don’t be too hard on him. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he did the right thing.”

I thought about screaming my head off about what a disloyal boob Owen was, but I decided against it. It wouldn’t get me anywhere. In fact, as mad as I was, I was sure to lose control and turn it into an all-out hissy fit, a surefire way to wind up in handcuffs in the back of the police cruiser. I smiled much too broadly and walked away while granddaddy and the officer made their way to the backyard.

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I’m Officially Bad Today!

Where my evil half lives!

Where my evil half lives!

Jeremy Robinson’s first book in his Chess Team Series goes on sale today. The book is called Pulse and it sounds like you may raise your pulse rate just by reading it. It features an evil scientist named Richard Ridley. I ordered my copy yesterday. You should buy a copy and see just how despicably evil a guy who shares my name can be. Also you should buy it because of what these reviewers and authors say about the book:

“Robinson’s latest reads like a video game with tons of action and lots of carnage. The combination of mythology, technology, and high-octane action proves irresistible. Gruesome and nasty in a good way, this will appeal to readers of Matthew Reilly.”

“Raiders of the Lost Arc meets Tom Clancy meets Saturday matinee monster flick with myths, monsters, special ops supermen and more high tech weapons than a Bond flick. Pulse is an over-the-top, bullet-ridden good time.”
Scott Sigler, New York Times bestselling author of CONTAGIOUS and INFECTED

“Jeremy Robinson’s latest novel, PULSE, ratchets his writing to the next level. Rocket-boosted action, brilliant speculation, and the recreation of a horror out of the mythologic past, all seamlessly blend into a rollercoaster ride of suspense and adventure. Who knew chess could be this much fun!”
James Rollins, New York Times bestselling author of THE LAST ORACLE

“PULSE contains all of the danger, treachery, and action a reader could wish for. Its band of heroes are gutsy and gritty. Jeremy Robinson has one wild imagination, slicing and stitching his tale together with the deft hand of a surgeon. Robinson’s impressive talent is on full display in this one.”
Steve Berry, New York Times bestselling author of THE CHARLEMAGNE PURSUIT

“Here’s a neat twist: a young adventure thriller writer – whose heroes save the world – saves the world of adventure thrillers. In a genre glutted with popcorn gimmicks and tired rip-offs, Jeremy Robinson dares to craft old-fashioned guilty pleasures – far horizons, ancient maps, and classic monsters – hardwired for the 21st century. There’s nothing timid about Robinson as he drops his readers off the cliff without a parachute and somehow manages to catch us an inch or two from doom.”
Jeff Long, New York Times bestselling author of THE DESCENT and YEAR ZERO

“PULSE is Jeremy Robinson’s best yet. A really intriguing premise, frightening consequences, wrapped up in roaring adventure.”
Stel Pavlou International Bestselling author of DECIPHER

“An elite task force must stop a genetic force of nature in the form of the legendary Hydra in this latest Jeremy Robinson thriller. Yet another page-turner!”
Steve Alten, N.Y. Times best-selling author of The Loch & MEG: Hell’s Aquarium
“A pulse-pounding adventure genetically engineered to mythic effect.”
Thomas Greanias, New York Times bestselling author of THE ATLANTIS REVELATION

“Greek myth and biotechnology collide in Robinson’s first in a new thriller series to feature the Chess Team… Robinson (Antarktos Rising) will have readers turning the pages…”
Publisher’s Weekly

“Combining mythology with Jurassic Park, PULSE is an over the top action-packed thriller that will have readers hooked from start to finish as one escapade leads to another and another, etc as the story line never takes a breather.”
Harriet Klausner, Amazon’s #1 reviewer

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Bigfoot & Memorial Day

Since it’s Memorial day, I naturally think of the Memorial Day Bigfoot footage shot in 1996 by camper, Lori Pate in the state of Washington near the Canadian border.  I ran across it many times in my research for the young adult science fiction novel (Lost Days) I just completed.  In my opinion, the creature in the video is unquestionably a fake.  Whether Lori Pate was involved in the fraudulent footage, is doubtful, and Dr. Jeff Meldrum, a respected anthropologist and a man whose opinion I really value, believes the creature in the video is the real thing.  Watch the two video clips below and decide for yourself.  I see a guy in a gorilla costume. 

BTW – Happy Memorial day!  A big thanks to all the men and women (past and present) serving our country.   

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1 in 4 Americans is embarrassingly stupid!

Hold on.  About to crash.  CUL8TR - if I live!

"Hold on. About 2 crash. CUL8TR - if I live!"

According to a study done by Vingo, a mobile voice application company, 1 in 4 American’s admitted to texting while driving, proving once again that Americans really don’t get the concept of multitasking. Now, there is talk of creating a law that actually states you can’t text while driving. Really, people? A law? Let’s just save the trouble of having to pass future laws by making stupidity illegal. If we can’t do that, let’s just create a bunch of laws that state what you can’t do while driving. Here are few suggestions:

Do not grill while driving. Sure everyone likes a nice char grilled burger, but c’mon grilling is for the backyard.

Do not perform surgery while driving. This may only apply to actual surgeons. In fact, amateur surgery is never really a good idea.

Do not have any paranoid delusions while driving. Yes, I’m talking about you.

Do not attempt handstands while driving. This will be called the “Handstands While Driving Law,” but it will also apply to cartwheels, hula-hooping, and playing with yo-yos.

Do not shoot a major motion picture starring Robin Williams while driving. Strangely enough this only applies to movies starring Robin Williams. He can be very distracting.

Do not start a sovereign nation while driving. There’s a lot of paperwork and putting down of rebellions. Park first.

Do not practice any cool ninja moves while driving. You’re not a ninja. Give it up! If you’re a ninja reading this, please disregard this law and accept my trembling apologies, Mr. Supreme Ninja sir.

Do not attempt to drive a second car while driving. Do I really have to explain why this is a bad idea?

Do not try to figure out why New Kids on the Block got back together while driving. They have so tarnished their boy band legacy.

Do not create a “Do not do these things while driving” list while driving. Because, it’s depressing when you realize that as ridiculous as some of these things seem, people may actually try to do them while driving. You’re liable to drive into oncoming traffic.

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The Scandalous Affair That is Tearing Jon & Kate Apart or Wow Does TV Suck or What?

Jon & Kate.... ahhh.... wait!  Dont tell me.  I want to say Goose something.
Jon & Kate…. ahhh…. wait! Don’t tell me. I want to say Goose something.

I’ve seen story after story about Jon supposedly cheating on Kate.  I think I speak for a lot of Americans when I say, “Who are these people?”  Seriously, if it weren’t for Google, I’d have no idea why the media is even covering this affair.  It used to be so much harder to be famous.  Get a pen and write this down.  If someone offers you a reality TV show, they are trying to destroy you. Run like hell!

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Hootie-Hoot! The Takers is in the Top 10 in the Monsters Category (sub-sub-sub-category)

The Takers is a top 10 Monster!

The Takers is a top 10 Monster!

It’s a sub-category of a sub-category of a sub-category, but still it’s the Monsters label that has me so pumped. I’m all about the monsters and freaks. The Kindle version of The Takers has made it’s second top 10 list. The $1.99 price tag seems to have hit the spot. Danke schön, Kindlers!

UPDATE: It actually reached number 7

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