The top ten freakiest searches of the week – unusual phrases people used to find my blog (Second Edition)

Clowns age so well.  Its really hard to tell his age!

Clowns age so well. It's really hard to tell how old he is!

It is time to get freaky.  For those of you catching up, I’m planning on making this the regular Friday post for my blog.  I’ve noticed over the past year and a half that people find my blog by using some of the most unusual search terms.  Some of them are funny, and some of them are disturbing.  The best are disturbingly funny!  I was afraid that I wouldn’t have enough to choose from this week, but you freaky people never disappoint.  If you are one of the freaks, thank you.  You’ve made my Friday’s much easier.

10 – sonic crustacean – I just thought this one was a great band name.  “We are Sonic Crustacean!”

9 – picture of nazis with bear – This one falls under the category of truth is stranger than fiction.  Click here to see what I mean.

8 – letter of thanks to television – “Dear television, thanks for the great party.  I really had a blast, and I’m really sorry for throwing up on your ficus tree.  I have learned my lesson.  Cocktail weenies and 22 shots of Jagermeister definitely do not mix.  Rock on, television!”

7 – wordpress divorce – I had no idea WordPress’ marriage was in trouble.  I hope there was a prenup.  Do I have a say in who gets me in the divorce?

6- old man as a clown – “Funny how?  Like a clown?”   The sad thing is there is someone out there who is known as the old man clown to somebody else on this planet.

5 – mmmmmmmm flickr – Obviously, Homer Simpson has learned to google, and he thinks flickr is delicious.

4- jeff goldblum + shirtless – I’m starting to think that a week won’t go by without somebody out there searching for a shirtless male celebrity.  There’s got to be a way to make money from this fetish.

3- circumsized penis photos – What?  The thing that really scares me is that someone typed this into their favorite search engine and they were directed to my blog.  Let me assure you.  There has never been nor will there ever be a penis, circumcised or otherwise, on this blog.

2 – tattoo girls magazine – “I only look at it for the articles… which appear as tattoos on girls in the magazine.”

And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:

1 – why am i obsessed with michael Jackson – Wow!   I had no idea that you could actually hook your brain up to a search engine and get answers to your most intimate pressing questions.  It’s possible your fixation stems from your inability to think for yourself.  If you’re looking to the interwebs to find the source of your obsession, you have much bigger problems!

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6 thoughts on “The top ten freakiest searches of the week – unusual phrases people used to find my blog (Second Edition)

  1. I’m afraid I might be the reason for the penis traffic. My blog handle tends to lead search engines right into the gutter!

  2. HA! I never thought of that. No worries. You are still welcome here.

  3. Man, the amount of hits to my blog using the search “[random star] shirtless” never ceases to amaze me. There’s loads of them!

    • That is strange. I feel much better that it’s happening to other bloggers. I should start tracking to see who is the most desired shirtless celeb. Right now Jeff Goldblum is way ahead.

      • I’ve had things like Stephen King shirtless and Neil Gaiman shirtless used as search terms that have landed on my blog. As I’m a dark fantasy and horror writer, I guess the names are pretty relevant. Have you written much about Jeff Goldblum on here? 🙂

      • Yes. It was a tribute for him not dying. Long story.

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