Back to the silly and inane. Welcome to the Saturday edition of Freaky Search Friday. The date is September 12. If you didn’t read yesterday’s “brilliant” post, I still think you can guess as to why I didn’t make my normal goofy Friday post. But I can’t hold the freaks back any longer. They must come out. Enjoy last week’s unusual search terms used to find my blog.
10. shirtless Seinfeld & michael vick shirtless – It’s actually two separate posts, but I didn’t want to give them their own separate entry this week because it’s the third time this combination has been used to find my blog. If I wanted to get Perez Hilton type traffic to my blog, I think all I would have to do is post a picture of a male celebrity shirtless once a day. I am confused and concerned by this fascination.
9. i suck at fantasy football – Here we see the major difference between sports and fantasy sports. Sports builds self-esteem whereas fantasy sports seems to destroy self-esteem.
8. harry ape + willem Dafoe – I’m assuming they meant “hairy ape,” and if that’s the case I may be to blame for this pairing. Click here to see what I mean. Sorry, Mr. Dafoe. You don’t really look like a monkey… that much.
7. young ted kennedy shirtless – Wow! A search for a male shirtless celebrity!? That hardly ever happens. This does bring up a good question. Will Teddy go the way of Elvis when it comes to recalling his legacy? Will he be put into the same two categories, young Teddy and fat Teddy? And will the post office let the public vote on which version of the Senator will appear on the commemorative stamp?
6. short science shave mustache fiction – This just proves the power of language. Individually theses words all make perfect sense. Thrown together randomly, they can make your head explode trying to decipher what this person was trying to find. I’m pretty sure Google died trying to find matches for this search.
5. steve perry moustache – What I love about this one is that there is someone out there who thinks like me. Yes I am a freak, too. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
4. christopher walken fat – Hey, at least it’s not Christopher Walken shirtless.
3. naked cop photos – Looks like someone’s trying to get out of a speeding ticket.
2. nasty feet – Okay, I’m not a foot fetish guy, but I would think if you’re going to have an odd fascination with feet, it would at least be for attractive feet. BTW – I’m thinking they were directed to my blog because I’ve done a couple of posts about Bigfoot and because of the excerpts I post from my new book Lost Days. (Nice, I just wedged in a plug for my next book in a discussion about nasty feet. I am good!)
And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:
1. shrek biography – You know he’s not real, right? I would think that the ears and the green complexion and the… animation would have given it away, but Shrek is just a highly advanced, comically drawn, computer generated character in animated movies. In other words, he’s a big fat phony! At least that’s what Foghorn Leghorn claims in his tell-all memoir!