Forget Team Edward or Team Jacob! I’m Team Marlow!

I'm on Team Marlow

I’m making no comment on Stephenie Meyer’s writing talent with this next statement, but I have to say I hate Twilight. And I do so for one reason.  Meyer has turned vampires into mamby-pamby runway models.  They sparkle in the sun.  Sparkle!  Vampires are creepy, soulless monsters that have an uncontrollable blood lust.  They have one purpose, to feed on humans.

That’s why I’m joining Team Marlow.  Marlow is the head vampire of 30 Days of Night.

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Book Four of the Oz Chronicles – It’s Here!

Jennifer Aniston finds a cold weather spot to enjoy The Land of The Dead, Book Four of the Oz Chronicles.

This was a bit of surprise for me.  I went to Amazon this morning and discovered that The Land of the Dead, Book Four of the Oz Chronicles is available for sale.  I had no idea it would happen that fast.  We didn’t even have time to put together a ribbon cutting or put together one of those fancy red carpet events.  Oh, well.  What are you going to do?

I did send a copy to my buddy Jen while she was hanging out in an undisclosed cold weather location.  She sent me a picture of her with the book.  She’s cool like that.  We talked about the book and Photoshop.

Book Description: In the fourth installment of the Oz Chronicles, Oz Griffin continues his efforts to restore the world he destroyed.  But, when Oz and his band of warriors are led to an abandoned Southern mansion, they encounter a serial killer and become infected with an almost uncontrollable urge to feed … on each other.  With only nine days to find the cure, Oz must travel to the Land of the Dead and follow in the serial killer’s footsteps.  Will Oz survive the journey?

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Randy Pausch’s Son – a Chip Off the Old Block

A couple of years ago, I was captivated (along with millions of others) with Professor Randy Pausch and his battle with pancreatic cancer.  He’s known to a lot of people as “The Last Lecture” guy. Sadly, Professor Pausch passed away, but not with leaving an indelible mark on everyone who heard him speak.  Proving that the apple does not fall far from the tree, his eight-year-old son has taken up the fight against pancreatic cancer.

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The Land of the Dead Update

Got the proof for The Land of the Dead, and as always, I found some changes that needed to be made.  Knocked those out, and just got word that I should be getting the new proof on Tuesday.  We are just about there.

While I’ve been waiting, I think I actually came up with another story idea for a new YA series.  I’m still hammering out the details, but I’m pretty excited about it.  This series may be told from various points of view.

On another note: I found this picture on Break.com, and thought it was funny.

We'll all have to face that great eraser in the sky someday!

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Adorable Redneck Sees Bigfoot

Okay, quite a few people have been pinging me on this Bigfoot sighting in North Carolina the other day.  Not so much because Bigfoot was seen, but because of who saw Bigfoot.  He’s a good ol’ mountain boy in Cleveland County, North Carolina by the name of Tim Peeler.  He comes off as… well, adorable.  Mr. Peeler called 911 twice about the “thing” in his backyard.  His speech is slurred, and he sounds a bit confused, but who can blame him really? There was a ten foot ape with the face of a man and beautiful hair (his actual description) trying to get his dogs.

The one aspect of the calls that makes my conspiracy theory antennas tingle is that he makes a couple of references to not shooting the animal.  Here’s what he said.

“I did not shoot… the thing! I did not shoot him. You can’t blame that on me.”

And then in another call he asks:

“Would I get in trouble if I was to shoot and kill this beast?”

If I were a cynic and novelist who makes up stories, I would say that he sounds like a man who shot something, and he’s not so cleverly trying to cover his bases in case they find a 10 foot ape with a man’s face and beautiful hair dead from a shotgun wound in the woods somewhere in Cleveland County.  But that’s just my writery mind playing tricks on me, I’m sure.

Here’s a piece CNN did on the sighting.

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Ironclad Evidence that Invisible Fairies Exist

Can you see the invisible fairy in this picture?

This is a transcript of an actual conversation I had with someone.  The person will remain nameless to protect his or her identity.  The scary thing is the person was totally serious.

Me: Hey, Nameless, thanks for calling back.

Nameless: Sorry I had to hang up earlier.  There were some people at the house.

Me: I understand.

Nameless: They don’t really understand my gift.

Me: Gift?

Nameless: Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

Me: Oh, sure… okay.

Nameless: Most people don’t believe me, but I have evidence.

Me: Evidence?  Evidence of what?

Nameless: Fairies are real.  They visit me.  They usually stay away from humans, but they visit me.

Me: (No reply)

Nameless: Hello?

Me: I’m here.

Nameless: Did you hear what I said?

Me: I… Yeah… Sure… That’s… cool.

Nameless: You don’t know how great it is to talk with someone who believes me!  You believe me, right?

Me: Well… Yeah… I mean… why not?

Nameless: Thank God.  I see them all over the place. Invisible fairies.

Me: Invisible?

Nameless: They’re everywhere.

Me: But they’re invisible?

Nameless: Of course.

Me: So how do you know there everywhere… or anywhere for that matter?

Nameless: Because I’ve taken pictures of them.

Me: Wait, you have pictures of invisible fairies?

Nameless: Dozens.

Me: Can you send me one of your pictures in an email?

Nameless: Why?

Me: What do you mean why?  It’s a picture of a fairy.

Nameless: Invisible fairy.  Invisible fairy.  Haven’t you been listening?

Me: So send me a picture of an invisible fairy.

Nameless: You can’t see it.

Me: What do you mean, I can’t see it?

Nameless: It’s invisible.

Me: Okay, now I’m confused.

Nameless: What’s so confusing?  I have pictures of invisible fairies.  Proof that they exist.  Ironclad.

Me: But you can’t see the fairies in the pictures?

Nameless: What part of invisible don’t you understand?

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South Carolina is Dysfunctionalicious!

Okay, we have a sitting governor who disappeared last year and turned up a few days later to declare the love of his life was some woman in Argentina… Oh, and she’s not his wife.  He apologized to his wife and kids in a press conference.  His wife divorced him. The state legislature accused him of spending public money to fund his disappearing act.  They tried to impeach him, but fell short.  Now he pretty much vetoes every bill they pass.

Never fear, the election is here.  We can put somebody new in office and put this whole nationally embarrassing mess behind us.  Oh, wait… this is South Carolina politics.  We specialize in embarrassing messes.  The current Lieutenant Governor decides to run.  He immediately compares poor people to animals by saying if you feed them they never go away.  Then a blogger comes out and declares he had sex with the leading GOP candidate.  She denied it.  Then the Lieutenant Governor’s very effeminate campaign manager also claims he had sex with her.  She giggled.  The campaign manager’s proof that he had sex with her is that he took a lie detector test and the results were inconclusive.  On another front, another supporter of the Lieutenant Governor made a racist remark about the woman because she is of Indian descent. The result of the scandal and attack?  She won the GOP primary in a landslide.  Who won the Democrat primary?  Who knows?  The GOP occupied every inch of the spotlight.  All we know is that a blogger may or may not have had sex, and the woman who won the GOP is the TEA party’s candidate.

The Democrats had their gaffe, too.  They had a primary in a Senate race.  The winner takes on Republican Senator Jim DeMint in November.  There were two men in the race.  One is a professional state politician. The other is an unemployed veteran living with his parents who has never held political office.  His campaign strategy?  Do nothing.  To be fair, I don’t recall seeing ads for his opponent either, but he claims he spent some money.  Who won?  The unemployed veteran, who oh by the way, has a pending obscenity charge against him.  He didn’t just win.  He won with 60% of the vote.  The loser is claiming the GOP paid the winner’s $10,500 filing fee, and he’s also claiming the voting machines malfunctioned and gave the unemployed veteran vote’s he didn’t deserve.  The loser’s official complaint is that the polling facilities used surplus voting machines that were thrown out by Louisiana because they… well, didn’t work properly.  The trouble is the state said they didn’t buy surplus voting machines from anyone.  They’re brand spanking new.

Is there any way we the citizens of South Carolina can succeed from our state? I don’t want to leave.  Charleston is beautiful.  I’m here to stay.  I just don’t want these idiots representing me.

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If The SEC Expands…

The Four Teams I'd Like to see Join the SEC

There’s been no indication from SEC officials that they are planning on expanding, but the folks that run the SEC don’t really care to be outdone, so I am of the mind that it’s just a matter of time.  Given that, I have four schools I would like the SEC to consider.

Southern Mississippi – It’s the largest college in the state of Mississippi, and they have a history of upsetting traditional powerhouses.

Louisville – They’ve fielded some outstanding players recently, and how great would it be to have Louisville and Kentucky in the same conference come basketball season?

University of South Florida – It’s an upcoming school in a talent rich state.  With Skip Holtz at the helm, they are likely to make some great strides.

Virginia Tech – I know they just joined the ACC, and it’s not really cool to raid another major conference (unless you’re the PAC-10), but how great would the rivalries be?  VA-Tech/Bama, VA-Tech/UT, VA-Tech/Florida, VA-Tech/Georgia.  I just think it’s a natural fit.

Alternates – I’d take Texas A&M, but the Texas lawmakers won’t let it happen unless Texas comes, too, and the PAC-10 seems to have the inside track.  I’d also take Kansas.  With Kentucky, Louisville, and Kansas in our conference, you’d be hard pressed to find a better basketball conference.  They’re not bad in football, either.  I’d consider West Virginia, too.  Memphis wouldn’t be a bad basketball add, but the football program is consistently mediocre.

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