Ironclad Evidence that Invisible Fairies Exist

Can you see the invisible fairy in this picture?

This is a transcript of an actual conversation I had with someone.  The person will remain nameless to protect his or her identity.  The scary thing is the person was totally serious.

Me: Hey, Nameless, thanks for calling back.

Nameless: Sorry I had to hang up earlier.  There were some people at the house.

Me: I understand.

Nameless: They don’t really understand my gift.

Me: Gift?

Nameless: Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

Me: Oh, sure… okay.

Nameless: Most people don’t believe me, but I have evidence.

Me: Evidence?  Evidence of what?

Nameless: Fairies are real.  They visit me.  They usually stay away from humans, but they visit me.

Me: (No reply)

Nameless: Hello?

Me: I’m here.

Nameless: Did you hear what I said?

Me: I… Yeah… Sure… That’s… cool.

Nameless: You don’t know how great it is to talk with someone who believes me!  You believe me, right?

Me: Well… Yeah… I mean… why not?

Nameless: Thank God.  I see them all over the place. Invisible fairies.

Me: Invisible?

Nameless: They’re everywhere.

Me: But they’re invisible?

Nameless: Of course.

Me: So how do you know there everywhere… or anywhere for that matter?

Nameless: Because I’ve taken pictures of them.

Me: Wait, you have pictures of invisible fairies?

Nameless: Dozens.

Me: Can you send me one of your pictures in an email?

Nameless: Why?

Me: What do you mean why?  It’s a picture of a fairy.

Nameless: Invisible fairy.  Invisible fairy.  Haven’t you been listening?

Me: So send me a picture of an invisible fairy.

Nameless: You can’t see it.

Me: What do you mean, I can’t see it?

Nameless: It’s invisible.

Me: Okay, now I’m confused.

Nameless: What’s so confusing?  I have pictures of invisible fairies.  Proof that they exist.  Ironclad.

Me: But you can’t see the fairies in the pictures?

Nameless: What part of invisible don’t you understand?

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South Carolina is Dysfunctionalicious!

Okay, we have a sitting governor who disappeared last year and turned up a few days later to declare the love of his life was some woman in Argentina… Oh, and she’s not his wife.  He apologized to his wife and kids in a press conference.  His wife divorced him. The state legislature accused him of spending public money to fund his disappearing act.  They tried to impeach him, but fell short.  Now he pretty much vetoes every bill they pass.

Never fear, the election is here.  We can put somebody new in office and put this whole nationally embarrassing mess behind us.  Oh, wait… this is South Carolina politics.  We specialize in embarrassing messes.  The current Lieutenant Governor decides to run.  He immediately compares poor people to animals by saying if you feed them they never go away.  Then a blogger comes out and declares he had sex with the leading GOP candidate.  She denied it.  Then the Lieutenant Governor’s very effeminate campaign manager also claims he had sex with her.  She giggled.  The campaign manager’s proof that he had sex with her is that he took a lie detector test and the results were inconclusive.  On another front, another supporter of the Lieutenant Governor made a racist remark about the woman because she is of Indian descent. The result of the scandal and attack?  She won the GOP primary in a landslide.  Who won the Democrat primary?  Who knows?  The GOP occupied every inch of the spotlight.  All we know is that a blogger may or may not have had sex, and the woman who won the GOP is the TEA party’s candidate.

The Democrats had their gaffe, too.  They had a primary in a Senate race.  The winner takes on Republican Senator Jim DeMint in November.  There were two men in the race.  One is a professional state politician. The other is an unemployed veteran living with his parents who has never held political office.  His campaign strategy?  Do nothing.  To be fair, I don’t recall seeing ads for his opponent either, but he claims he spent some money.  Who won?  The unemployed veteran, who oh by the way, has a pending obscenity charge against him.  He didn’t just win.  He won with 60% of the vote.  The loser is claiming the GOP paid the winner’s $10,500 filing fee, and he’s also claiming the voting machines malfunctioned and gave the unemployed veteran vote’s he didn’t deserve.  The loser’s official complaint is that the polling facilities used surplus voting machines that were thrown out by Louisiana because they… well, didn’t work properly.  The trouble is the state said they didn’t buy surplus voting machines from anyone.  They’re brand spanking new.

Is there any way we the citizens of South Carolina can succeed from our state? I don’t want to leave.  Charleston is beautiful.  I’m here to stay.  I just don’t want these idiots representing me.

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If The SEC Expands…

The Four Teams I'd Like to see Join the SEC

There’s been no indication from SEC officials that they are planning on expanding, but the folks that run the SEC don’t really care to be outdone, so I am of the mind that it’s just a matter of time.  Given that, I have four schools I would like the SEC to consider.

Southern Mississippi – It’s the largest college in the state of Mississippi, and they have a history of upsetting traditional powerhouses.

Louisville – They’ve fielded some outstanding players recently, and how great would it be to have Louisville and Kentucky in the same conference come basketball season?

University of South Florida – It’s an upcoming school in a talent rich state.  With Skip Holtz at the helm, they are likely to make some great strides.

Virginia Tech – I know they just joined the ACC, and it’s not really cool to raid another major conference (unless you’re the PAC-10), but how great would the rivalries be?  VA-Tech/Bama, VA-Tech/UT, VA-Tech/Florida, VA-Tech/Georgia.  I just think it’s a natural fit.

Alternates – I’d take Texas A&M, but the Texas lawmakers won’t let it happen unless Texas comes, too, and the PAC-10 seems to have the inside track.  I’d also take Kansas.  With Kentucky, Louisville, and Kansas in our conference, you’d be hard pressed to find a better basketball conference.  They’re not bad in football, either.  I’d consider West Virginia, too.  Memphis wouldn’t be a bad basketball add, but the football program is consistently mediocre.

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Lane Kiffin – The Clown Prince of College Football

I love a good gloat.  As a Tennessee fan nothing warmed my heart more than hearing the news that the University of Southern Cal was slapped with severe penalties by the NCAA for committing 18 recruiting violations.  Now, I feel bad for the student athletes and the fans of the Trojans.  They are paying a high price for someone else’s sins. But, I do not feel bad for the head football coach Lane Kiffin. In fact, I am positively giddy that he was flattened by the NCAA freight train of poetic justice.  And make no mistake about it, he deserved to suffer the brunt of these penalties, and I don’t say that because of what he did to my Volunteers. No, no.  Kiffin’s fingerprints are all over these violations.

The Clown Prince of College Football Finally Gets Busted!

During Lane Kiffin’s brief stint as head coach of the University of Tennessee’s football program he regaled the Big Orange nation with story after story of his recruiting prowess.  Hearing him speak, you would have thought he built a time machine and convinced O.J. Simpson to play for the Trojans.  Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but he often made claims that he was instrumental in recruiting Reggie Bush, and beyond his glowing lack of character, there is no reason to doubt Kiffin’s claims.  According to KFFL, this was his career trajectory at Southern Cal before he took the job with the Oakland Raiders:

In his six seasons at Southern California, Kiffin went from working as tight ends coach to serving as the program’s receivers coach, offensive coordinator and top recruiting coordinator this past season. He was considered one of the most sought-after young coaching minds and talent evaluators in college football before Davis snatched him up.

Kiffin is clearly at the center of these violations, and no one should feel bad because he is saddled with Pete Carroll’s baggage.  It wouldn’t surprise me if Pete Carroll’s reputation has been sullied by his association with Kiffin.  If you think I’m just lashing out as a bitter Tennessee fan, you are partly right.  I can’t stand the guy for the way he disrespected Tennessee’s fans and program.  But there’s also his track record.  The man has held more press conferences explaining his bad behavior and poor decisions than Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, and Jesse James combined.  He even admitted to recruiting violations at Tennessee while being on the job just a few months.  The clown is a menace to integrity, and it’s finally catching up to him.

The one thing that saddens me about this whole thing is that I was hoping that the current crop of players at Tennessee would somehow get a shot at playing Kiffin’s Trojans in a bowl game before they graduated.  Now it doesn’t look like it will happen.  If there is a God, Lane Kiffin will be out of football before USC finishes its probationary period.  So long, Lane.  It’s been nice seeing you get what you deserve.

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Enjoy this Bigfoot Art While I Await Edits

I’m waiting on edits, so I’m in a holding pattern on The Land of the Dead at the moment.  So, enjoy this somewhat abstract image of Bigfoot I put together in Photoshop Elements.


BTW – I created the above image from this frame of video.  I see  someone something trying to hide its face.  Other people see shadows and light forming what looks like a face.

Peek-a-boo fo' reals!

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I think Europe said it best…

Come hell or high water I am uploading the files this week!  Book Four of the Oz Chronicle is here… well, it’s here at my house.  I’m making my last rewrites tomorrow, and should have all the pieces in place to start turning the publishing wheels that will make ti available to all of you who have waited so patiently.  It is here.

Now, I’ll let the band Europe express this moment in a song.

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