The Egyptian media came under some criticism in the international community because they apparently doctored an image from the Middle East peace talks at the White House. Using Photoshop, they repositioned their president, Hosni Mubarak, from the back left side of a picture featuring the five leaders attending the talks walking down a hallway and put him in front of the pack. Here is the doctored picture.
It seems the Egyptians would like to give the impression that their leader is large and in charge. Here is what is being reported as the original picture.
As you can see, President Obama is actually at the point of this geese-like formation. It looks very convincing, but I was contacted by someone within the administration that claims that even this photo has been manipulated. Yes, you read right. The photo that is being purported to be the original has also been altered using Photoshop. Why? Because of a little known medical phenomenon occurring in the Middle East called Winston Brog’s Syndrome. Simply put, people living in the region are shrinking at an alarming rate due to the excessive heat. The syndrome was discovered by Dr. Winston Brog of the UK fifteen years ago, but no one took him seriously. As a result, millions of Middle Easterners have gone untreated for this horrific disease unnecessarily. After receiving the unaltered picture, I sent Dr. Brog an email asking for his response. Here is what he had to say.
“It doesn’t surprise me in the least. Have you been to the Middle East? It’s bloody hot. The people there get wet and then dry unnaturally fast due to the almost unbearable heat. Short exposure to this type of drying process won’t harm you, but generational exposure seems to have coded the DNA to create what’s known as missopliable cell membranes. In layman’s terms it means the cell walls shrink a little after each drying incident.
“Fortunately, I’ve developed a treatment that is quite effective if introduced to the patient early in their life. It’s a type of dry cleaning and martinizing for humans, but it only works if you start it at around age four or five. I’m afraid the gentlemen in the picture you sent me are beyond help. Eventually they will shrink into nothingness. Kind of like Mork in that episode of Mork and Mindy.”
There you have it. Scientific confirmation that the people of the Middle East are shrinking. And now, I give you photographic proof.
There is one glaring question that arises from this unfathomable development. Why the cover up? Dr. Brog addressed that very issue.
“This disease is unnatural. It wasn’t created by the whims of viral activity. It was created in a lab somewhere and released upon the region. I can’t say for sure who’s behind it, but some speculate the Norwegian government is involved. They really are a bunch of evil dullards.”
“Frankly, the US and other Western nations don’t particularly mind. If everyone shrinks to nothing, then there’d be no more wars in the Middle East. Problem solved.”
I submit to you that despite what royal pains the people of the Middle East have been, no one deserves to shrink into nothingness. Let the world know what’s going on. Pass the picture along to everyone you know. Let’s stop what Norway started! Together we have the power.