Charlie Sheen Quote of the Day

 “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total frickin’ rock star from Mars. People can’t figure me out, they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.” – Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen - a total frickin' rock star from Mars

Another Creepy Facebook App

"Don't mind me. I'm just waiting for you to dump your boyfriend... or if he dumps you, that still works for me."

Well, Facebook had the good sense to shut down the Breakup Notifier app that I discussed earlier in the week.   But, it seems the creepiness of app developers knows no bounds.  Some young and amoral jerk has now developed a WaitingRoom app.  It works this way.  You mark a guy or gal your interested in and proclaim your affections.  They will be notified that you are waiting on their relationship to destruct.  If you’re lucky, your proclamation will ignite the downfall of their present attachment.  And bam!  Everyone involved is covered in the muck of electronic depravity.

No word on when or whether Facebook will boot this app, as well.

Updates on Kindle versions of my books

Kindle Version is Live

The Pure is now available for you Kindle readers.  I priced it at $2.99. In other words, it’s cheap.  The Kindle version of Land of the Dead will be available very soon.  I know this has taken a painfully long time.  I appreciate your patience and you persistently asking me when it will be available (That wasn’t sarcastic – I swear I really do appreciate it).

A 5-year-old girl on marriage – Is she right?

Out of the mouth of babes.  I’m posting this video for a couple of reasons.  One, I think it’s funny.  Two, I love this little girl’s confidence.  I wish I was this positive about anything at her age… hell, even my age.  Three, I was astonished at some of the comments posted by what I assume are men.  Some have actually found her comments sexist. I chuckled when I read the first comment and then I started seeing words like bitter, indoctrinated, man-hater, etc.  Keep in mind, the young lady wasn’t performing for her mother (as some have accused her of).  Her 12-year-old sister shot and posted the video.  Am I wrong as a man not to be outraged?  Granted, she’ll likely change her views several times over the years, but that doesn’t make what she’s saying any less valid.  What do you think?  Are these musings by a 5-year-old girl offensive to men?  BTW – If she were my daughter, I would add one piece of advice.  Don’t get married until you’re in your 30’s.  Live a little, kid. 

I’m giving books away, but there’s a catch.

The Prophet of Cradle County by Jackson Goddard

I’ve decided to give some copies of a book away that was not written by R.W. Ridley.  It was written by me, but not under the name R.W. Ridley.  It was written under my pen name Jackson Goddard and published a few years ago.  It’s was an experiment for me.  Not my normal writing style.  I just wanted to try something different.  It’s not young adult, and some people may find the language a bit offensive.  Here’s the description:

Cradle County is in despair. The economy is on the downswing. Race relations are bad. And worst of all, the local high school football team hasn’t won a game in ten years. Join the cantankerous, politically incorrect narrator, Tucker Stewart as he shares the story of a small Southern town that finds hope from a most unexpected source, a hitchhiker named Reverend Wilda Fern Sheppard. Reverend Sheppard takes Cradle County by storm as she shakes the foundation of their faith by claiming to be God.

Contact me via Facebook if you want a copy.  I haven’t decided how many copies I’ll give away at this point.  I’ll do it until I run out of books or until I get tired of running to the post office, whichever comes first.

Facebook Apps Wish List

Lady Bieber or Justin Gaga?

So, some industrious and creepy programmer has developed an app for Facebook that notifies you when the girl or guy of your dreams suddenly becomes single.  It’s called Breakup Notifier, and it does just that.  You engage the app, pick the person or persons currently in relationships that you have your eye on, and then sit back and wait for their relationship to fall apart. You can then be the first to swoop in and win the affections of that now broken-hearted hottie on your list. However, this strategy will relegate you to the roll of “rebound guy.”  My advice is to wait until you get the second breakup notice on someone before you step in, or wait until I finish my app Rebound Dumped to make your move.

I’m kidding, of course.  I’m not smart enough to develop an app for Facebook or Twitter or anything that requires an app.  I’m app-less.  I have no app-titude.  I’m… you get the point.  I do have some ideas for apps that I’d like to see, however.  If you have app skills, work on these and I’ll sign up.

  1. Apocalypse Notifier – I would like to know when the bombs start falling.  I’d just like the time to get my affairs in order, call all my loved ones and wish them a fond farewell, and get plenty of stretching in so I can guess my ass goodbye without pulling a muscle.    
  2. Ashton Kutcher Movie Alert – I’d like to know when Ashton Kutcher has a movie opening in a theater near me, so I can totally avoid that movie theater.  It’s not so much his acting that bothers me.  It’s the people who would actually pay to see an Ashton Kutcher movie that scare me. 
  3. The Un-Unrest in the Middle East Alert – I’d like to be notified when a story comes out about the Middle East that doesn’t involve guns and violence and beheadings and violations of human rights, etc. and so on.  Basically, I just want the feel-good crap that allows me to hide in my rose-colored glasses existence (until I get the email from my Apocalypse Notifier).
  4. Charlie Sheen Tracker – It’s my belief that we can knock out half of this countries cocaine supply if we just monitor Charlie Sheen’s every movement. 
  5. Justin Bieber/Lady Gaga Watch – I’ve never seen Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga in the same place at the same time.  Makes you think doesn’t it?  Could they be… I don’t know… the same person?! If they ever are seen together, I want an app that will alert me of the event, so I can have proof that they are indeed two different people.

Now that I’ve insulted several people who can crush me, I think it’s time to move on.  Feel free to list your app list in the comments section.