A paranormal group has called a press conference today at 4:00 Pacific Time to no doubt disappoint us all. On Memorial Day their truck or van or some bulky vehicle of the like got snowed in somewhere on the High Sierras. They left it to retrieve it during friendlier weather conditions. Upon their return, they discovered that a creature of some kind greased itself up and pressed its face against one of the windows of the vehicle. Below is a picture of that oily imprint. The left is the original and the right is the image I created with my super enhancement skills. You’re welcome!
Why so disgustingly greasy, Bigfoot?
They say that it’s the “Most Convincing Evidence of Bigfoot” since the Patterson film. The group is called the Sanger Paranormal Society, and they say they’ve had a DNA expert take swab samples, but there’s no word on whether or not the DNA expert will be on hand to field questions at the press conference.
My agent gave me his ok to release The Man Who Saved Two Notch on Kindle. This is a common tactic by authors of almost every ilk these days. Release the book on Kindle, generate some buzz and hopefully get picked up by a big publishing house. To date, I haven’t created enough buzz to warrant more than careful consideration from the Big Six (although with the addition of Amazon to the publishing mix, some people have started calling it the Big Seven.).
So, I want to do my part to generate bigger buzz (Can buzz be bigger?). In the past, I’ve done drawings in which I gave away a Kindle. I’m going to do another drawing. My plan was to switch it up and give away an iPad 2, but Apple forbids anyone from giving away iPads or iPhones without getting their lawyers involved. They can bite me. So, I’m going to ask for your input on the prize this time. Vote in my poll and pick the prize for the drawing! Oh, and if you’re a Kindle-ite, click on the image of the cover to buy the Kindle version of The Man Who Saved Two Notch.
Here are the songs that I’ve included on my The Man Who Saved Two Notch Virtual soundtrack. If you like any of the songs, I encourage you to help the artists out and buy the song or better yet, the entire album. They haven’t read or endorsed The Man Who Saved Two Notch, but their songs remind me of the tone and feel of the book.
I just heard this on the radio, and I couldn’t wait to add it to my list of songs for The Man Who Saved Two Notch virtual CD. Eddie Vedder released a solo album of just him and his ukulele. Right, I know. It sounds crazy, but once I heard his cover of Dream a Little Dream I was sold. The haunting vocals and simple instrument make it a perfect fit for Two Notch.
My wife said she heard someone say that Anthony Weiner looks like Glenn Quagmire from Family Guy, and I have to say I agree. Here’s proof.
Perhaps the most disturbing outcome of this whole mess is a report that Weiner could receive as much as $1 million in pension money for his time spent as a U.S. Congressman. He served for 12 years. Twelve years! People retired after 30 years during his term and they’re collecting notta in retirement because of the failures of the men and women serving in Congress. I couldn’t care less about Weiner’s sexting scandal (other than it’s crazy enough to be funny). It’s the quality of the job he did while in office that irks the hell out of me. It’s not just him. I hold everyone in Congress accountable for the state of our economy. Nancy Pelosi’s wealth grew by 62% last year while she help orchestrate the collapse of US economy. Why are we letting any of them collect pensions? They aren’t earning it. None of them. I don’t care what party they’re in or what their fiscal philosophy is. Ever last one of them has failed. ARGH!!!!
Clintion & Weiner celebrate the congressman's new tat in happier days.
To which I say, really? Bill’s just lucky Twitter wasn’t around when he was running for political office. Otherwise, he’d be making a living as manager/backup sax in his brother’s bar band today. All I have to say is the former president might want to move out of that glass house he’s living in.
So, I have this problem and it’s going to sound kind of insane. I can’t get rid of one of the characters from Two Notch. The guy just won’t leave me alone. No, he isn’t showing up in my bathroom while I’m brushing my teeth (Not literally, anyway). He’s just there every time I sit down to write Book Five of the Oz Chronicles. Writing fiction takes a heavy dose of visualization. I need my mind clear so I can settle down in the world of The Oz Chronicles, and it’s tough with this character from the other book there.
The character’s name is Abel Decker, and he’s not a nice guy. He’s a ruthless gun for hire that just happens to be hired by the good guys in my book. He’s killed a lot of people, including women and children, and he has no remorse. Despite all that, I like him. Pardon my French, but there is no bullshit in Abel Decker. He does what has to be done. There is no decision to big for him to make. He knows his place in the world, and he accepts it. I wouldn’t want to be him, but if there’s a life or death situation coming my way, I’d want him on my side.
I saw a gentleman on TV talk about his time in an Iranian prison. He was put in solitary confinement for several months, and he said he survived by having imaginary conversations with his dead father and sister. I told my wife that if I was in the same situation I would probably survive by talking to some of the characters I’ve created, namely Abel. The dude is just a good old fashion bad ass, and that’s the kind of guy you’d want to be in an Iranian prison with.
I’m saying all that to say this. I’m taking a few days off the interwebs to clear my head, so I can’t put 100% of my focus back on the Oz Chronicles. I’m going to read Book Four again, and get back on track.
I’ll be back on Tuesday, but for now, you can enjoy this video. It’s another song in my The Man Who Saved Two Notch virtual CD. Call it a wish list of songs for the book’s soundtrack. This one is Woe is me, I’m ruined by The Lonely Forest.