Repost: I was once bitten by a vampire.

When she said she was a vampire, I just thought it was bawdy talk.

I saw this story – Florida Teen Murder Suspect Says She’s a Vampire – and it made me think of the time I was bitten by a “vampire.”  Retold here for your reading pleasure.

I want to share with you one search term that came up a number of times, a disturbingly large number of times.  It was, “Real Vampire Pictures,” or some variation of that term. The point is people were looking for information on real vampires.

Let me be perfectly clear on this point.  Vampires are not real.  They don’t exist.  Okay, yes I was once bitten in college by a girl who said she was a vampire.  And, yes she bit a couple of other guys that night.  And, yes I woke up with two very distinct fang marks on my neck, and it really freaked my roommate and me out.  And,  yes this vampire coed may have warned me that others would be coming for me because she had marked me, but they haven’t.  And I’m sure… relatively sure, it will never happen.   And I think I heard one of the other guys she bit died shortly thereafter… holy crap!  Vampires are real!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, they aren’t real, but the story about me being bitten in college by a girl claiming to be a vampire is 100% true.  And, she really did leave fang marks. She was a very polite vampire because she asked me if she could bite me before she did.  In my defense, I didn’t think bite actually meant bite.  We had a serious communication problem.  The relationship was doomed from the beginning.

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Guns N’ Roses before Rush?

Is it just me or are there others out there that think inducting Guns N’ Roses into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame before Rush is completely bogus?  I mean Tom Sawyer alone should earn Rush a spot in the hall of fame.  GNR was part of that whole embarrassing glam rock phase.  Rush was on the tail end of social change rock movement.  I’m a bit baffled that the hall of fame has repeatedly passed them over.  I guess I just don’t know music.

It’s the end of R.E.M as we know it.

The coolest band to ever come out of the state of Georgia is calling it quits. R.E.M, fronted by Michael Stipe, is taking it’s collection of ecletic lyrics and iconic songs and putting up the going out of business sign. Here’s the announcement from their website:

“As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band. We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished. To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening.”

To Stipe, Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and the already retired, Bill Berry, thanks for 31 years of great music.  I give you the only fitting R.E.M song to accompany this announcement.

That’s it. I’m moving to Canada.

OMG – The Canadian mint has issued a coin that has… wait for it… Sasquatch on it!  Canada here I come!

The latest collection of Canadian commemorative coins steer far away from traditional images of prime ministers and historical monuments. Lake dragons and underwater panthers have usurped the poppies, hockey players and royal newlyweds of coins past…The Canadian Mint also has a Sasquatch coin for sale.

Canada has officially become the coolest country ever.  Here’s the entire story: New Canadian commemorative coins feature lake dragons and underwater panthers

I ate industrial cleaner.

Here is a recreation of part of the label from my Dave’s Gourmet Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia Hot Sauce.

A hot sauce and an industrial cleaner in one convenient bottle

I ate something that doubles as an industrial cleaner!  I don’t know if they’re joking or not, but after my experience with the sauce, I’m guessing they are totally serious.

This is my first encounter with the dreaded and, some would say, infamous ghost pepper.  I added a dash to my soup yesterday, and got through about half a bowl before I couldn’t eat anymore.  In fact, I didn’t really need to eat for the rest of the night.  I felt full and honestly, afraid to move too much.  I’m not giving up on the sauce yet, but I will have to build up a tolerance to it.  Half a dash from here on out.  Why subject myself to such torture?  Because it’s there!