“r.w. ridley” shirtless – The brief return of Freaky Search Friday

Technically this is a picture of R.W. Ridley shirtless. Never say I don't give the public what it wants.

Freaky Search Friday hasn’t made an appearance on the blog in long time. To be frank, the same freaky stuff started reappearing over and over again. It got harder coming up with lame jokes for the same terms, and also, a little piece of my humanity died with each freaky search term. As a reminder, these are the search terms people have used to find my blog. I don’t know how these search terms led them to my blog. I suppose I may be the source of the freakish debris that is hitting my blog, but you can’t prove that… unless you read my blog.

  • hillary clinton reptile – Meet the latest cryptozoological craze. The Hillary Clinton reptile is a 5’4” lizard that never stands by its man and has a habit of secretly deposing Middle Eastern dictatorships. It’s been frequently photographed and it’s also been caught on several videos in front of microphones donning increasingly youthful hairdos to conceal its withering opportunities of becoming POTUS.
  • lady gaga in a bear – For her next tour, Lady Gaga will perform live inside a bear, or if the bear chooses to chew before swallowing, she will be just dead inside a bear. Either way, the tour will make millions.
  • fat crazy woman in straight jacket – For the record, I have never been a fat crazy woman. I have worn a straight jacket on a number of occasions, however. I find it’s the perfect garment when you want to save time hugging yourself.
  • megan fox caught – It’s about time someone caught her. She’s been running amok through overhyped big budget Hollywood films for far too long. I wonder if they used a clichéd script and a low-carb craft services table as bait?
  • “r.w. ridley” shirtless – I’m honored. Someone searched for me shirtless. I feel like I’m somebody now. Just for the record, there are very few shirtless pictures of me that exist, and I think the world is a better place for it. However, if money gets tight, I will return that call from Playgirl and finally agree to do that spread… what do you mean Playgirl went out of business?
  • chuck testa shirtless – Nope. It’s just Chuck Testa. Crap! So much for thinking I’m part of an elite group. If you people want to see Chuck shirtless, you want to see anybody shirtless. Okay, I’ll admit it. I kind of want to see him shirtless, too.
  • zombie children – Sure they’re kind of bitey, but they’re much easier to raise than live children. They leave you with so much free time because they never get invited to birthday parties, and forget about having to drive them all over town going to all those pesky extracurricular activities because zombie children usually don’t have the hand-eye coordination or viable brain function to participate in those sorts of things.
  • dog in meditation – I’m a transcendentalist, but even I think this is crazy.
  • nasa wants to blow up the moon – In their defense, it does kind of get in the way when you trying look at stuff in space. Stupid moon.
  • old people clowns – Internet traveler, meet the world’s most disturbing fetish.

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