Lou’s Diary – Entry 21 (Text version)


The boy came to, but he hasn’t said a word.  I don’t know what to do with him.  He won’t tell me about the pond, the man he’s with, the Gore… he won’t say a word.  It’s so frustrating.  I should hurt him.  I should punch him and kick him and break his fingers until he talks.

I should, but I can’t.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I’m so weak.  I want to help the Gore.  I want to serve them, but the things I have to do… I’m not like that.  They don’t understand.  They’re in my head telling me to do these terrible things, not because they’re terrible… they’re not.  They’re perfect. They’re beautiful.  They’re the only thing that matters.  I know that.  I believe that with all my heart.

But he’s just a boy.  He’s so small.  How can I hurt him?

I should.  I know I should.  He means nothing.  He’s worse than nothing.  He’s an enemy to the Gore. The Gore’s enemy is my enemy.  He dares to harm the Gore.  I must make him pay.

But I can’t.

I can’t!  I can’t! I can’t!

I am Lou.  I help people.  I don’t hurt them.  I may not be real, but I do have a purpose.  And that purpose isn’t to kill little boys.  I don’t care how evil they are.  They don’t deserve to die.  Or at least, I’m not worthy enough to kill them.

The problem is I don’t know what to do with him now.  I can’t let him go.  He’ll tell the man about me, and they’ll come after me.  They’ll kill me, and I won’t be able to serve the Gore.  I have to live for them.

I know.  I’ll give him to the Gore.  I’ll take him into the woods tonight, and I’ll wait for the Gore.  They’ll take him.  They’ll know what to do with him.  They will make him pay for what he’s done.

It’s the perfect solution.  I won’t be responsible for what happens to the boy if the Gore kill him, and I will have helped the Gore at the same time.  It is the perfect plan.

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