I’ve decided not only is the war on Christmas bullshit, but the real war is being waged on Festivus. The media pretends it’s a made up holiday. No candidate for any office has ever had the guts to say they celebrate Festivus. And, no coffee shop has ever honored the holiday. Ever! So, here’s my plea to Festivusians everywhere. Next time you go into Starbucks and they ask for your name, stick your chest out and proudly proclaim, “I am Frank Costanza!” Make sure you yell it like you’re angry. They need to know you have a grievance.
Festivus for the rest of us!