America’s Impacted Colon is Playing the Media with Melania’s Plagiarism


stock-photo-34236370-digestive-problems-like-constipation-or-diarrhea-Strange headline, no? Allow me to explain. I have vowed to never say the name of the GOP’s nominee for POTUS because his brand of hatred only grows when his name is mentioned in the media. From now on, I shall call him the Impacted Colon because he’s full of shit.

Mrs. Impacted Colon gave a speech last night at the RNC, and the media is ablaze with stories about how similar her speech was to Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech. In fact, parts of Melania Impacted Colon’s address were unquestionably plagiarized from the current First Lady’s speech, word-for-word. One would think it’s as if the Impacted Colon’s campaign WANTED to get called out for it.

And that’s exactly what they wanted. I can’t believe the media hasn’t recognized the Impacted Colon’s strategy by now, but let me spell it out. He wants to be attacked because that gives him license to attack back. He purposely lies so the establishment media and politicians will come after him. It makes him look like an outsider. It doesn’t matter how outrageous and ridiculous his lies are, his followers don’t care, because he is saying what they truly want to hear. In this case, they want to believe that the media and Democrats are so depraved and delusional that they are coming after their candidate’s wife. How dare they? The reason for the attack will get lost in their outrage.

I am saying, without a shred of doubt in my mind, that his team knowingly plagiarized the First Lady’s speech from 2008. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the first to use clandestine “haters” to point out the plagiarism on Twitter and Facebook. Did Melania know she was using stolen words to express her beliefs? I doubt it. I’m guessing the campaign threw her under the bus, so they could give the Impacted Colon a foothold for his counterattack.

Here’s how this act of plagiarism works to the Impacted Colon’s benefit. It gives him the opportunity to pretend like he’s a tough guy when he comes out and defends his wife from the comfort of his podium. He can appear to be macho and caring, even though we all know he is neither of those things. He’s going to give a fiery defense of his wife and his followers will salivate at how manly he is. This will be done in an effort to court the women of the GOP. This will be done in effort to strengthen his position with the male misogynist voter that thinks women need to be protected.  This is a play to strengthen the base of his movement, Mr. and Mrs. Moron.

This also opens the door for his campaign to go after the spouse of the Democrat nominee. Like it or not, Bill Clinton has a lot of personal baggage, and the Impacted Colon wants free rein to go after the former President’s past. Attacking Melania allows him to dive deep into conspiracy theory nonsense that gets his moronic base fired up. We will hear about murders and affairs and backroom deals. Justifiably questioning Melania’s speech, gives the Impacted Colon permission to distract from the issues and get GOP voter’s nostalgic about how much they hate Bill Clinton.

Finally, the hardest part for Democrats to swallow about this whole thing is that attacking Melania allows the Impacted Colon to compare his wife’s harmless act of plagiarism with Hillary Clinton’s “lies.” Forget for a moment whether you personally believe Hillary or not. That’s not the issue. The issue is that most independent voters in this country and a record number of Democrats question Hillary’s ability to tell the truth. Her brand is associated with a lack of ethics. Whether you think that’s fair or not doesn’t matter. She’s had 30 plus years in politics. Her likability and trustworthiness have always been weak. That’s not going to change this close to the general election. Her perceived distant relationship with the truth is her vulnerability, and that’s where the Impacted Colon can score real points with this ultimately unimportant plagiarism story. He can list the lies Hillary has been associated with, and he can win the all-important independent protest vote.

Stop playing into the Impacted Colon’s hands. He’s using the establishment to court the uninformed disenfranchised voter (not to be confused with the informed disenfranchised voter). Wake up and start pushing him on the issues. Make him spell out his policies. Make him sweat. He is most confident when he’s spouting outrageous lies.  As soon as he’s faced with having to explain his policies in detail, he sweats and that’s when he loses followers.  Don’t let him off the hook either. He will obfuscate and redirect back to a lie, but you have to hold him accountable and make him behave like an adult. Force him to give details about specific policies and he will crumble. After all, the Impacted Colon can only hold so much shit before he fails miserably.

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