It’s rerun season, so I decided to breakout the first (and only) season of Old Ladies on the Plane! Truth be known, I kind of miss them.
This may be the end of the ladies. Unfortunately, it will not be the end of the Twilight series to movie adaptations.
The ladies discuss the state of the television news industry today. To summarize, Twitter is destroying the news!
BTW – The ladies will be coming in for a landing next week. Only time will tell if they fly again!
I wish I could make this stuff up. The conversation takes an unpleasant turn.
Two old ladies and a baby, things are about to get Über annoying.
Today the ladies discuss investment strategies. Oh, joy!
Just what you’ve been clamoring for, episode 2 of Old Ladies on a Plane. This one is called People are awful! Much like the actual flight I took with these two ladies. I realize that this may be a bit inside. In fact, there may be only 80 people who get the humor here (all passengers on the same flight with me that day). But I seriously have to exorcize these ladies from my tortured psyche.
As promised, here’s an original blogcom (sitcom for a blog) I created based on one of the most horrific flights I have ever had the good misfortune to be on. Shrillness, volume and basic context are all accurate.
Okay, so the announcement isn’t that major, but honestly, hyperbole is kind of my thing, so step off and let me be me before my head literally explodes from repressed exaggeration (it could happen)!
I had the good misfortune of riding on a plane recently with two of the most annoying women on the planet… well one was really annoying. The other one was just kind of annoying because she fed into the other ones heightened annoyingness. These women were… let me put this in a nice way… shrill! On top of that, they talked with no ability to modulate their voices for the entire 2 hour flight, which thanks to them, felt like a 2 month excursion to hell. I found myself praying for a temporary brain tumor that would cause me to go completely deaf, or wishing I had the tools to fashion a shiv that I could jam in my ears. Their conversation had no redeeming quality. I didn’t get any great stock picks, or any killer Mahjong strategies, or any delicious casserole recipes. I just got a headache that came close to inducing nose bleeds. And I wasn’t the only one affected so negatively by their conversation. Everyone within in a six row radius was turning in their direction with pained looks on their faces.
Being a writer, my instinct was to immediately write down the gist of their conversation as soon as I regained the will to live a full life again. Being a quasi-performer with no real talent, I recorded the conversation in their voices. Being a blogger, I planned on posting the recording here for all of you to enjoy. But as I was editing the piece and started putting it together, I realized that this thing has legs. Yes, these two women were eye-wateringly annoying, but they were also strangely compelling and endearing. In short, I don’t want to par t with them. So, as this is my blog and I can post whatever I want, I’ve decided to post my version of a sitcom, or as I have so cleverly deemed it, a “blogcom.” I’ve recorded the first three or four episodes already, and I will try to post one every week. They’re easy to do, and as it turns out, talking in these ladies’ voices is very therapeutic. It’s just flat out fun. So, you may not enjoy them, but I hope you will indulge me. These women put me through hell, and I simply have to get something out of it. The name of my blogcom: Old Ladies on a Plane! I’ve already got a catch phrase; Am I wrong?! The first episode will debut tomorrow. The episode title is Selfish!
Consider yourself warned and informed! See you tomorrow!