The mainstream media would have you believe that this election is over. That a certain charismatic candidate has charmed the American people into a state of pre-election frenzy of hope & change, that the mere act of voting is wholly unnecessary because their candidate will simply ascend to the throne of U.S. Presidency like some angelic entity that is more ethereal than human.
So, I’m sending out this plea far and wide. Don’t believe this election is over. Our candidate can still win. All you have to do is vote Walken on Tuesday. If you want more cowbell, this is the only way you’re going to get it. The other candidates aren’t even talking about cowbell. Why? Because they have no cowbell plan. It’s all war and taxes with those other presidential hopefuls. Only Walken wants you to have your cowbell. Let freedom ring! (In this case freedom is a metaphor for cowbell. Get it?)
You don’t have to be a supporter of Obama to appreciate this ad because it reunites the Wassup dudes from the Budweiser commercials that were so popular 8 years ago. This is clever and nostalgic.
From the world of the mildly interesting, it turns out that GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin is related to Princess Dianna & Franklin Delano Roosevelt. On the flip side, Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama is related to Dick Cheney and Brad Pitt. My question is how small is this friggin’ planet? Are we all related to each other? No news on how all the candidates are connected to Kevin Bacon yet. You can find out more about the candidates and their relations by clicking here: Sarah Palin related to Princess Diana and Franklin D Roosevelt and here: Palin and Princess Diana Related.
Recently, I came out in support of Sam Masterson for president. I only did this because I was unaware that there actually are other candidates running for President of the United States. I now regret that endorsement. I am announcing today that I am withdrawing my support for Masterson and throwing the entire weight of my much sought after endorsement behind Christopher Walken. I do this for many reasons. I am a fan of Mr. Walken. I do a very bad impression of Mr. Walken. I’m terrified that if I don’t support him he will hunt me down and shoot me dead. Most of all I’m supporting him because of his platform. It is as follows:
How can I not vote for the man?
Obama, the next time you want to play the “big man” and give a speech in the cold without a coat under a driving rain, remember these three words: William Henry Harrison. And the one lesson you should learn from the video below is never explain historical events under the influence of alcohol.
Now I’m really confused. I thought we were going to crumble and fall apart if we didn’t get this bailout. Oy vey!