I am dead… and alive!

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Meet Dr. Michio Kaku. He is both dead and alive at the same time!

I was just listening to Dr. Michio Kaku on the radio in the car.  That guy is awesome.  I had no idea he has his own radio show now.  He’s the physicist that developed the “String Field Theory”.  Not String theory.  I’m not smart enough to tell you the difference, but anyway one of the things that was really interesting.  There are 100 billion galaxies that the Hubble telescope can see.  Within each galaxy are 1 billion earth-like planets.  

So in the part of the universe we can see, there are 100 billion X 1 billion earth-like planets.  He actually said he thinks that given that there are that many planets were life as we know it is possible, there is no question that there are more advanced beings that have mastered space flight to the point where they can visit our planet.  It would actually be crazy to think otherwise.

I think the real message here is that my book The Tree Readers may be closer to nonfiction than I thought!

I also learned that it is possible for me to exist in two places at once, and I can be both dead and alive at the same time.  

Mind blown!

And then there’s The Tree Readers

The Anunnaki are coming, and they are going to solve the human problem once and for all.

The Anunnaki are coming, and they are going to solve the human problem once and for all.

I’m still working on The Tree Readers.  I have no idea how long before it’s published in book format, but I’m continuing to upload first draft chapters on Wattpad.  What you’re reading there will be tweaked, cut, or completely altered before I send it to my agent.   Call it the “rough author’s cut.”

BTW – The aliens that appear in The Tree Readers are ‘real’.  By that I mean, there are certain groups who believe that the Anunnaki are ‘real’ giant aliens that created the human race. I’ve taken actual folklore and shaped it to fit my storyline.  Many hardcore Ancient Astronaut devotees will most likely hate me for it, not to mention the Anunnaki themselves.  They do not come off looking that great.  If I go missing, look to the skies because I’m fairly certain I’ll be facing an Anunnaki tribunal for my blasphemy.

Wattpad and me

So, I’m doing this Wattpad thing, and I’m not sure what to make of it at this point.  While I’m writing Book Six of the Oz Chronicles, I am posting completed chapters of another book in progress, The Tree Readers, on Wattpad two times a day.  To date, I have about 79,000 words written, and each chapter is about 1,000 words long. It’s a book I started about two years ago, and I work on it in between other projects.  It’s actually a very special book to me because I started it while my mother was ill, and I would send her chapters that my sister would read to her.  Apparently, she enjoyed the story.  It’s a little difficult getting back into with a lot of enthusiasm knowing she won’t be able read the finished product.

That aside, Wattpad is a foreign concept to me, and I’m not sure what will come of it.  I’m not expecting much because I am a stranger in a strange land.  I’m about 30 years older than the typical Wattpadian from what I can tell, and after reading the forums, I discovered that it’s common practice for writers to “vote” for their own work.  I’ve been doing it, but it feels a little self-indulgent.

There’s no danger in me becoming a bright shining star on Wattpad because The Tree Readers is about 800,000 reads behind the top science fiction story.  If you are so inclined, and you want to see what The Tree Readers is all about, I encourage you to join Wattpad and read along.

And yes, Book Six is coming!

New book project here I come

I’m taking my usual Oz hiatus (except for the Lou diary entries) by working on a non-Oz project.  This one is a dark Young Adult book about an alien invasion called Tree Readers.  I actually started this story months and months ago but lost my focus when I had to jump back on the Oz bandwagon.   I’m planning on wrapping TR and sending it off to my secret agent man to see what he thinks.  In the meantime, here’s a little sample (typos included).

The messages are in the trees.

.

Stanley Keenan was six the first time he helped his father kidnap someone.  It was a kid about his own age named Bobby Darden.  His father spent weeks training him how to win the kid’s trust.  They’d go to the park every Tuesday and Saturday at the same time Bobby would be there with his mother.  Stanley slowly got to know Bobby.  He liked him.  He was fun.  In a lot of ways, he was Stanley’s best friend.  In fact, he was the one who first called Stanley Key.  It was a nickname he would use for the rest of this life.

After six weeks of becoming Bobby’s buddy, Key lured him to a line of trees on the North side of the park, and his old man appeared with a couple of ice cream cones.

Bobby was in the back of Key’s father’s RV before he knew what was happening, lapping up the ice cream like it was his last meal.  For all Key knew, it was.

Bobby and Key played in the back of the RV while Key’s old man drove out of town.  Bobby was assured that his mother had asked Key’s father to take him on a trip to Six Flags.  She wanted to come but couldn’t because of work.  Bobby thought his mother was the coolest parent on the planet at that moment.

Little did he know that she noticed her son missing ten minutes after the abduction.  She told herself that he had just wandered off.  That she would find him soon.  She was sure he would be just around the corner, doing something he shouldn’t be doing because that was his nature.  If there was trouble, Bobby could find it, but it was usually harmless fun.

The minutes passed and she grew more and more anxious.  The volume of her voice got louder.  The urgency in her tone was more pronounced.  The other parents started to take notice at this women darting from tree to tree calling out her son’s name.  Their hearts began to pound.  A mother had lost her child. Could anything be worse?  They all scooped up their own children and began to help in the search for the poor woman’s child.

They wouldn’t find him.  He was growing restless in the back of Key’s father’s RV.  He had been happy and content with the thought of going to an amusement park at first, but several hours had passed, and he began to miss his mother in spite of himself.  He had never gone so long without so much as a phone call from her.  Looking out the window of the RV, he could see that it was dark outside.  Darker than he had ever seen it before.  Something was wrong.  He was only five, but he could feel it.  Key tried to keep Bobby’s mind off his mother by showing him his comic book collection, but Bobby couldn’t even pretend to care about the stupid comic books.

“I want to go home, Key,” Bobby said.

Key gripped his latest Superman comic.  “Don’t you want to go to Six Flags?”

Bobby shook his head.  “Not anymore.”

Key’s hands began to sweat.  His father told him that this might happen.  He warned him that Bobby would beg to go home, but it was his job to keep him happy and quiet.  “What about the roller coasters?”

“We can’t ride ‘em.  We ain’t tall enough.”

“Sure we can,” Key smiled.  “My dad said so.  He knows the guy who built all the roller coasters.  They got us special passes.”

Bobby looked down.  “I don’t care.  I just want to go home.”

“Don’t say that so loud,” Key said.  He looked at his father to see if he heard.  If he had, he knew that was it for Bobby.  They’d pull over and his old man would make sure that Bobby stopped asking to go home.  One way or another.

“Tell your dad,” Bobby said.

“I can’t.”

“I just want to go home.”

Key covered Bobby’s mouth with his hand.  “Shhhh.”

“Everything alright back there boys?” Key’s old man asked.

“Yes, sir,” Key answered.

“We’re just about there.  Just talked to Bobby’s mom on the phone.  Good news.  She got off work and she’s waiting for us near the gate.”

Key breathed a sigh of relief.  “There, you see.  Your mom’s waiting for us.”

Bobby managed a smile.  “Good.” His eyes darted from Key to Key’s dad.  “Does your dad really know the guy who built the roller coasters?”

Key nodded.  “Says he does.  They served in the army together.”

“Your dad was in the army?”

“Still is.  That’s why we move so much.  He’s always going on secret missions.”

“Wow,” Bobby said.  “Cool.  Does your mom go on secret missions, too?”

“Nah,” Key said.  “She died when I was born.  It’s just me and my dad.”

The two boys felt the RV slow and eventually come to a stop.  Key’s father unbuckled his seatbelt and moved to the back of the vehicle.

“You boys wait here.  I’ve got to do some business.”  He moved to the door and then turned back to the two boys.  “Don’t even think about going outside.”

Both boys nodded.  They slowly moved to the front of the RV after Key’s father exited.  They watched him through the front windshield as he approached a black four-door car.  Key’s father turned back to the RV.  Bobby and Key ducked down so they wouldn’t be seen, but they weren’t sure why.  They had been instructed not to leave the RV, but Key’s old man didn’t say anything about not looking out the windows.

They watched intently as Key’s father leaned inside the car.  He appeared to be talking to someone, but the boys couldn’t see anyone.   Bobby reached out and grabbed Key’s arm.  He scooted closer to his best-friend.  His grip on Key’s arm got tighter as his father raised his voice.

Key’s old man stood up and wiped the sweat from his brow with his sleeve.  He headed back to the RV and the boys could hear him mumbling.   Both boys yelped and jumped when he opened the side door.

“Bobby,” Key’s father said.  “Can you come here, please?”

Bobby Looked at Key.  What should he do?  He didn’t want to go outside.  It was dark out there.

“Bobby,” Key’s father said.

“I don’t want to go,” Bobby whispered.

“It’s okay,” Key said.  “My dad’s in the army, remember?  He’ll protect you.”

Bobby considered Key’s logic and then stood up.  He ever so slowly stepped toward the door.

Key’s father reached out his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.  “It’s okay.”

Bobby reluctantly grabbed his hand and allowed himself to be guided out the door.

Key crawled into the passenger seat and watched as his father placed his hand on Bobby’s back between his shoulder blades and walked him to the black car.

Bobby looked back once and Key was sorry he did.  He was scared for him.  Key didn’t like that feeling, being scared for someone else.  It tied him up inside, and he wanted to roll down the window and beg his father to bring Bobby back, to take him home where he belonged, but he didn’t.  His father told him he would feel that way. He told Key that doubt was normal.  But he promised him they were doing the right thing.

“The greater good,” he called it.

Key’s father opened the trunk of the car, bent down, and whispered something in Bobby’s ear.  The small boy hesitated and then to Key’s amazement crawled into the trunk without so much as a gentle shove from his father.

That was last time Key saw Bobby Darden, but it wouldn’t be the last time he saw that black car.

The Buzz Log – Possible Ninth Planet Rocks the Web – Yahoo! Buzz

Could this be Planet X?  Actually, I’m just testing a new blogging feature on Internet Explorer.  I know squat about Planet X, but I imagine the 2012 conspiracy theorists are going nuts over this. 

The Buzz Log – Possible Ninth Planet Rocks the Web – Yahoo! Buzz

I don’t want to alarm you, but the aliens have begun their attack.

Turns out my "Welcome to Earth Blackbird pie" for the aliens may not have been the best choice.

In an omen that does not bode well for the Razorbacks in tonight’s Sugar Bowl,  around 3,000 blackbirds fell out of the sky last week in Arkansas, and 100,000 fish died in a nearby river.  No big deal, right?  Right?  C’mon, say right!

Things are getting freaky.  Turns out hundreds of birds fell out of the sky in Louisiana this week, too.  What is going on?  The only reason I’m fixated on this right now is because I was on a red-eye last week that flew over Arkansas, and I got sick on the plane.  I never get sick on planes.  I wrote it off to there being something wrong with the cabin pressure because it felt very much like altitude sickness (which I’ve had numerous bouts with), but now I’m starting to think maybe the same thing that got the birds and the fish got me, too.  I had a migraine yesterday without the head pain (people who’ve had migraines before will know what I mean), and a nose bleed.  And, to top it off, my wife and I both haven’t been able to sleep very well since we returned.

So, either the aliens are running tests on me, or I got zapped by some secret government weapon, or this is all just a big coincidence that I’m blowing way out of proportion (what are the chances of that?).   I think the answer is clear.  The aliens have arrived, and their probing doesn’t agree with me.  I wonder if they’ll let me take the non-probing tests.  Aliens, if you’re reading this, I do much better with essay questions than anal probes.

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Let the Conspiracy Theories Commence – The Hillary Clinton Demon/Reptilian Picture

A picture has surfaced on the interwebs of Hillary Clinton at a news conference that is going to have the “Reptilians Living Among Us” gang jumping for conspiratorial joy.  Believe it or not, there is a group of people who are convinced that an alien reptilian race is living among us using disguises that are undetectable except under certain lighting conditions and stressful situations.  Every once in awhile, they let the disguise slip for a split second and reveal their true face, or facets of their true face.

The picture of Mrs. Clinton is really going to push them further into a delusional state.  The picture is of the Secretary of State through the viewfinder of a video camera, and the result is an image that looks really kind of creepy.  Here’s the picture.

Madam Alien Reptile Creature Thingy

I’ve learned all this doing research for my new book.  It involves UFOs and aliens and the like.  You know that saying, “Truth is stranger than fiction.”  Well,  I would change it to “Perceived truth is stranger than fiction.”  People really do have some weird and wacky beliefs that they grasp and hold on to in the face of basic logic.  We live in a wonderfully weird world!

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Whoa! Where Have I been?

I’ve been really bad about blogging lately.  What is my deal?  I have no excuse.  I’ m going to make a concerted effort to get back into the swing of things, and return to a regular schedule.  Here’s what’s on my mind:

  1. We learned almost nothing from the first week of college football.  It’s always so disappointing when it comes around every year. We wait for it.  Anticipating every tackle, pass and bone-jarring hit.  And, we get some of that, but we also get ridiculous blowouts.  Ugly, ugly, ugly football.  We did learn that Boise State is for real.  They’re still going to get left out of the BCS title game even if they win the rest of their games.  That old adage that the current system is great because every game counts isn’t true.  Boise’s win over Va. Tech didn’t matter one bit.  I’d love to be wrong, but I’m fairly sure I’m not.  We also learned that Florida is in some serious trouble.  I was astonished they were ranked so high because they lost one of the greatest college football players to ever play the game. I’m saying this as a Tennessee fan.  You gotta figure that will at least drop you out of the top 10.  They’re going to lose a few games this year.
  2. I watched the Destination Truth season premiere episode.  It was okay.  Josh was Josh and the jokes were chuckle worthy, but I have a question.  What is up with replacing one hot chick with another hot chic every season?  Is the show a way for Josh to meet women?
  3. What’s up with all these idiots who want to burn the Quran?  I really thought we were past that kind of bigotry in this country.  It appears they called it off, but who would purpose that kind of thing in the first place.
  4. I’m reading a book on UFOs by Leslie Kean.  She’s basically collected “authentic” sightings by pilots, military personnel and government officials.   The interesting part of the book is that they aren’t really trying to make the case that they’re alien spacecraft.  They’re simply saying that there is something unidentified in the skies.  They’ve been tracked on radar, observed by trained pilots and even involved in combat maneuvers with a few military planes.   The US is the only major government that won’t officially acknowledge their existence.  In fact, they created a committee in the 40’s to come up with a plan to respond and investigate UFO sightings.  Their plan?  They developed a process on how to discredit reports.
  5. Along those lines, I watched the movie The Fourth Kind last week, and I don’t know how to feel about it.  The filmmaker lied to the audience.  He represented fiction as fact.  The premise of the movie is that over a twenty year period or so, 25 people disappeared in Nome, Alaska.  The filmmaker created a scenario where there was a therapist treating patience who were the victims of alien abductions.  He mixed in “actual audio recordings” and “real video footage.”  That’s all fine and good, but none of it was actual or real.  It was all created for the movie.
  6. Don’t worry.  I haven’t turned into a UFO/Alien freak.  I’m just doing research for a new book.

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Alien Life Form in NC Sewer System?

I have no idea what this is in a sewer system somewhere in North Carolina, but I have a few questions:

1. Is this a common disgusting blobby thing that can be found in any sewer system?

2. Do you think it can crawl back up the pipes and…. you know, suddenly appear in your toilet?

3. When do you think that we will evolve beyond the need to poop as a species ?  I’m thinking now would be a good time.  There’s no way I’m going to be able to sit on any toilet in peace ever again.  I’m so glad I was able to share this with you.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Alien Life Form in NC Sewer System?“, posted with vodpod

UPDATE: Thanks to Loren Coleman, I found out these pulsating blobs are colonies of Tubifex worms.  As I pointed out to him, ewwww!  The question remains, can they crawl back up the pipes?

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