I’ll admit it. I don’t get Lady Gaga. The outfits, the… well, it’s mostly the outfits. I actually don’t think I’ve listened to enough of her music to comment on it. Her brand is a laboratory mixture of Madonna, Cher, and Elton John. In the past, I didn’t mind her enough to comment on her because I wasn’t exposed to her that much, but she’s been dominating all forms of media this week, and none of it has been coverage about her talent. It’s all been about that stupid meat dress she wore at the MTV awards show. Oye, that dress. That stupid, stupid dress. Turns out she didn’t wear it because she wanted to attract bears. It was a political statement. The statement? She’s showing support for her fans who’ve been kicked out of the military because of an equally stupid don’t ask don’t tell policy in the military. That’s right she wore a dress made out of meat to protest don’t ask don’t tell. Meat…. discrimination against gays in the military…. don’t help me…. I think I can figure this out…. is the meat gay? Oh, wait! I see the problem. It doesn’t make sense!
She revealed this brilliantly lame excuse to Ellen DeGeneres earlier this week, and this is where she said one of the most annoying, self-congratulatory, egotistical things I’ve heard a celebrity say in a long time.
“As you know, I am the most judgment-free human being on the earth.”
Really? So, in Lady Gaga’s JUDGMENT she’s the most judgment-free human being on the earth. That is an odd thing for someone who is protesting something to say. Protesting usually comes with a heightened sense of judgment. And is the Dalai Lama aware that he’s been judged more judgmental than Lady Gaga by Lady Gaga.
As far as what she’s protesting, I happen to agree with her in this case. Don’t ask don’t tell is unbelievably stupid, but c’mon, surely there’s a better spokesperson out there than someone who wears a meat dress as a sign of solidarity. It’s like the Rubiks Cube of protests. Who the hell can figure it out?
I clearly am not the most judgment-free human being on the earth. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m late for my fitting for my ice cream suit to protest whaling. Don’t judge me!