Saturday Hodgepodgery

I need to get busy with writing, and I promised the wifey I would clean the floor, and I’m spending a lot time sulking because I promised the wifey that I would clean the floor, so I don’t have time to post anything that will change your life.  That is why I’m calling this post “Saturday Hodgepodgery!” Other than being totally cool, none of the following belong together.

First:

I am a pseudo-hippie that practices Transcendental Meditation while burning incense.  I got through with TM this morning and noticed that the smoke coming out of the burner looked pretty cool.  Here is a shot of smoke billowing out of my pseudo-hippie incense burner.  PEACE!

The key to inner-peace, smelly smoke!

The key to inner-peace, smelly smoke!

B:

I’ve noticed that most bloggers post pictures of their pets or kids or anything else smaller than them.  I don’t know why, but I guess it’s some unwritten rule.  In fact, I think all rules for blogs are unwritten.  Anyway, here is a picture of Chloe looking for enemies lurking in our yard. 

"Where is the friggin' squirl?"

"Where is the friggin' squirl?"

Lastly:

Here is my nephew hamming it up in a dance video he put together with a friend.  The friend can be heard giggling from the other side of the camera.  As you will see, my nephew knows some dance moves that I didn’t even know existed.  I’m not even sure he’s old enough to move like that.

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Why I haven’t blogged today.

Peopel of Nauru - Drink more coffee!

People of Nauru - Drink more coffee!

Panic is setting in because I haven’t blogged today. There are so many real and fictional reasons why I haven’t posted yet, so I thought it would be a great idea if I just created a list of those reasons here and let you decide which one is real and which ones are fictional. The main reason I’m doing this is because lists are super easy to create.

Top 5 Reasons I haven’t Posted Today (only one is real):

  1. I performed open heart surgery on a squirrel. It took much longer than I anticipated because I misidentified a post office worker as the squirrel. Luckily I realized my mistake before I used the rib spreader.
  2. I’m running out of interesting things to say. It’s hard writing something for a blog every day. Sure, I could have posted a video from Youtube and let that be that, but I feel like simply poaching a video from Youtube and posting it here is kind of cheating. That’s why I only do it 4 or 5 times a week.
  3. President Obama had me on the phone all day asking my advice on how to best deal with Nauru and their diminishing phosphate deposits. I told him phosphate shmosphate. They should open a Starbucks and a Caribou Coffee right across the street from each other. Bam! You have competing designer coffee houses that will stimulate the economy, and bonus, give the entire population of 13,000 Nauru-vians, a great caffeine buzz. Problem solved. Needless to say, POTUS was totally impressed
  4. I spent the day lobbying congress to remove the letter “c” from the alphabet. The letters “s” and/or “k” can take its place in most situations. Let’s face it the letter “c’s” day has come and gone. I’m embarrassed to have to use it. This is the 21st century people…. Make that sentury. It’s time for the “c” to move on.
  5. I got in a fight with a giant box of elbow macaroni. Don’t judge. I didn’t start it.

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