I am not J.K. Rowling

Proof that I am not R.W. or J.K. Rowling.

Proof that I am not R.W. or J.K. Rowling.

As if we needed further confirmation, we now have undeniable proof that I am not J.K. Rowling or in any way related to her.  On more than one occasion, I have received emails that have started with Dear R.W. Rowling.

The actual literary Rowling confirmed this week that she has published a book under the pen name, Robert Gailbraith.  Sales for the book written under her nom de plume, The Cuckoo’s Calling, soared an astonishing 507,000% shortly after her announcement.

Recently, I made a similar announcement on this blog that I too published under a pseudonym.  Sales did not increase 507,000%.  They went up about 300%, but I have a feeling we are talking even more dramatically different actual sales numbers.  She can buy an island with her 507,000%.  I can maybe buy a “J.K. Rowling bought an island and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” t-shirt with my 300%.

So congratulations, J.K. Rowling!  You win! Again!  You couldn’t even let me have this one thing, could you?

BTW – I feel compelled to say that the snarkitude of this post is all in good fun.  I truly do admire Rowling and appreciate everything she’s done for publishing.  Let’s face it, she made reading cool to an entire generation.

Metric Junkie – An Amazon Sales Ranking Fix for My Author Friends

Feeding Your Ranking Addiction

That’s “fix” as in a desperate fulfillment of a need.  Most of my author friends and colleagues have a borderline obsession with a little something called “Amazon Sales Ranking” (ASR- Street name “Ranking”).  I’m among this group of pathetic addicts that can’t get enough of measuring our self-worth through the sales rankings of our books on the world’s biggest online purveyor of books.  It’s like watching the score of a championship football or basketball game, only this game never ends.

Some authors will deny having a Ranking addiction, but most of them are lying.  They don’t want you to know that the first thing they do in the morning is go to the Amazon website and look up their book’s Ranking -The higher the Ranking the better the emotional high.  If your Ranking is low, a sinking depression begins your day. Some have such a bad Ranking addiction that they will check every hour, even wake up in the middle of the night to get their Ranking fix.  If you have several books on Amazon, you could spend all day Ranking.

For those authors brave enough to admit you have a Ranking problem, I have a little present for you.  I discovered a website called Metric Junkie that will track your Amazon Rankings for you.  It’s pretty cool.  It won’t help you stop Ranking, but it will give you all your ranks at once, you can even track Rankings of other books.

I pulled this from their “Features” page:

  • FREE to use
  • HOURLY AUTOMATIC COLLECTION of Amazon “Sales Rank” for books you track
  • VIBRANT INTERACTIVE GRAPHS present your “Sales Rank in a meaningful way, allowing you to quickly determine the effectiveness of your sales promotions, media campaigns, & social networking buzz
  • USER-FRIENDLY INTERFACE cleanly displays information in an intuiative and easy to follow format
  • CHA-CHINGER™ TECHNOLOGY shows you when a sale has occurred for any book you track
  • MARKET SHARE APPROXIMATOR™ shows you how your product stacks-up against your competitions
  • GROUPS allow you to organize your collection into smaller more manageable categories
  • PRINTABLE CHARTS allow you to take your information with you to review off-line at your favorite coffee house

So, there you have it, safe Ranking via Metric Junkie.  Use it wisely, and remember, you’re still a good person even if your Ranking sucks.

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