If Gorillas… (Part 11)

If gorillas get drunk and pass out, and you’re their true friend, you should take pictures of them.  When they sober up, show them the pictures and ask them if they’re proud.  If they’re honest, they’ll say no and check themselves into rehab.  If that doesn’t work, post the pictures on Facebook and tell all your friends to share it with their friends.  Eventually your gorilla friend will find out what you did and rip your arms off for making a fool out of them.  But, Some day your gorilla friend will come around and thank you for caring enough to jeopardize your friendship by posting the pictures.

But, honestly, you’ll probably still be pissed at your gorilla friend for ripping your arms off and all the thank yous in the world won’t mean much to you at that point… unless you get some way cool robot arms from the government.  That would be awesome!

Share this picture so I can get some way cool robot arms!

If Gorillas… (Part 9)

If gorillas dress up as giant birds, it’s usually because they didn’t read the fine print on their personal appearance contracts.  Man, there is nothing sadder than a gorilla moping around in a giant bird costume.  Makes you think, doesn’t it?  The world is a cruel, cruel place.

"Get my agent on the phone!"

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If Gorillas … (Part 6)

If gorillas see Jennifer Aniston out in public, they lock her in the trunk of the nearest car.  It sounds cruel, but it’s really for her own good, and honestly, she doesn’t mind it at all.

"No, Angilena didn't tell me to do this. Why do you ask?"

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