1,000 blog posts and counting!

Where the hell have I been?  I have never let the blog go this long without a post, but I promise I have a somewhat legitimate excuse.  My trusty laptop died, kicked the bucket, called on the big motherboard in the sky.  It’s gone, see, and it ain’t coming back.  I have a non-interwebby computer that I will never hook up to the three w’s.  Call me over-protective, but there’s just too much bad stuff that can leak into its computer innards from evil and nefarious types stalking the webs, so I want to have one computer that is free from the intercrap.  If not for the internet free computer, I wouldn’t be getting any work done. 

I’m loading today’s post from my beautiful wife’s computer, and I have a new (refurbished) laptop currently in transit from Costco.  So, all is well on that front.

Onto the important stuff.  This is my 1,000th post on the blog.  That’s gotta be some kind of record.  Surely no one has posted that many useless posts for the world to see… okay, maybe a few others have… okay, maybe 98% of bloggers have, but you’ve got to admire my complete lack of shame and self-awareness. 

On the writing front, I am currently working on two non-Oz books.  I really, really like one, and I’m confused by the other one.  I can’t decide if it’s good or not.  I must like it on some level because I’m about 70,000 words into and still going.  We’ll see where it takes me.  The one I really like is what I’ve been spending most my time on these days.  I’ll tell you more when I feel it’s the right time.

As far as Oz, I have the last two books outlined. I’ve outlined them before, but I had an epiphany recently that moved me to completely rewrite the outlines.  I couldn’t be more excited.  I want to deliver a satisfying ending to all the readers, and I think this new outline does it much better than the old one.  BTW – thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read one or all four books so far.   

That’s it for now.  Happy 1000th post to me, and happy… just be happy, damnit! 

Dead Tired -Skull-boy Byline

skullboy1

The blog is yours.

This just in, R.W. Ridley is dead tired from unavoidable travel. He’s strongly considering taking over the universe and outlawing time-zones.  Five o’clock is five o’clock.  Until he returns, the blog is mine.  In my infinite wisdom, I have decided to turn it over to you because… well, I am just an empty skull after all.  The blog is yours.  Do with it what you will.  R.W. will be back in full swing on Thursday.

Saturday Hodgepodgery

I need to get busy with writing, and I promised the wifey I would clean the floor, and I’m spending a lot time sulking because I promised the wifey that I would clean the floor, so I don’t have time to post anything that will change your life.  That is why I’m calling this post “Saturday Hodgepodgery!” Other than being totally cool, none of the following belong together.

First:

I am a pseudo-hippie that practices Transcendental Meditation while burning incense.  I got through with TM this morning and noticed that the smoke coming out of the burner looked pretty cool.  Here is a shot of smoke billowing out of my pseudo-hippie incense burner.  PEACE!

The key to inner-peace, smelly smoke!

The key to inner-peace, smelly smoke!

B:

I’ve noticed that most bloggers post pictures of their pets or kids or anything else smaller than them.  I don’t know why, but I guess it’s some unwritten rule.  In fact, I think all rules for blogs are unwritten.  Anyway, here is a picture of Chloe looking for enemies lurking in our yard. 

"Where is the friggin' squirl?"

"Where is the friggin' squirl?"

Lastly:

Here is my nephew hamming it up in a dance video he put together with a friend.  The friend can be heard giggling from the other side of the camera.  As you will see, my nephew knows some dance moves that I didn’t even know existed.  I’m not even sure he’s old enough to move like that.

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My blog is 100,000 views old!

First milestone reached.  Now, onto that cure for cancer!

First milestone reached. Now, onto that cure for cancer!

I just noticed that the blog surpassed the 100,000 views milestone.  Yippee, for me.  You really do like silly and useless postings.  I sensed that about you.  And before you ask, the answer is no.  The 100,000 views do not include my own visits to this blog.  WordPress doesn’t count my own views.  I’d be well on my way to half a million views if that were the case.  I just can’t get enough of myself!  I’m no John Scalzi, but this does mean that if he were to develop an allergy to blogging and have to stop, I could very well pass him in views in about 15 years, but then again that would leave me with no one to steal style and material from.  So, rock on Scalzi.  Happy to be in your wake.

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Why I haven’t blogged today.

Peopel of Nauru - Drink more coffee!

People of Nauru - Drink more coffee!

Panic is setting in because I haven’t blogged today. There are so many real and fictional reasons why I haven’t posted yet, so I thought it would be a great idea if I just created a list of those reasons here and let you decide which one is real and which ones are fictional. The main reason I’m doing this is because lists are super easy to create.

Top 5 Reasons I haven’t Posted Today (only one is real):

  1. I performed open heart surgery on a squirrel. It took much longer than I anticipated because I misidentified a post office worker as the squirrel. Luckily I realized my mistake before I used the rib spreader.
  2. I’m running out of interesting things to say. It’s hard writing something for a blog every day. Sure, I could have posted a video from Youtube and let that be that, but I feel like simply poaching a video from Youtube and posting it here is kind of cheating. That’s why I only do it 4 or 5 times a week.
  3. President Obama had me on the phone all day asking my advice on how to best deal with Nauru and their diminishing phosphate deposits. I told him phosphate shmosphate. They should open a Starbucks and a Caribou Coffee right across the street from each other. Bam! You have competing designer coffee houses that will stimulate the economy, and bonus, give the entire population of 13,000 Nauru-vians, a great caffeine buzz. Problem solved. Needless to say, POTUS was totally impressed
  4. I spent the day lobbying congress to remove the letter “c” from the alphabet. The letters “s” and/or “k” can take its place in most situations. Let’s face it the letter “c’s” day has come and gone. I’m embarrassed to have to use it. This is the 21st century people…. Make that sentury. It’s time for the “c” to move on.
  5. I got in a fight with a giant box of elbow macaroni. Don’t judge. I didn’t start it.

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