Jeff George was Jay Cutler before Jay Cutler was Jay Cuter!
This week’s Freaky Search Friday is decidedly less freaky than previous weeks. There were a lot of shirtless male celebrity searches, and for some reason people want to see Donna Reed and Ed Asner nude. And apparently identifying animal poop is really a popular activity because it hit the list this week again. I decided to sprinkle in a few repeat searches that aren’t freaky, but they come up week after week. I’ll do my best to give these poor souls some answers to their very pressing questions.
10. win a laptop facebook 2009 november – Admittedly, I’m only including this one because it allows me to promote my drawing for a free laptop. Join the Lost Days Facebook group to learn more!
9. walken ridley – Not freaky. It just gave me an idea what to name my first child (should I ever have one), Walken Zombie Ridley. It works for a boy or a girl. Why Zombie? Do you have to ask?
8. greatest meltdown ever – I’ve learned two things from this blog. People want to see as much famous people’s skin as they can, and People love to watch other people suffer. The greatest thing that could ever happen to society is if a naked celebrity freaks out. That would be interwebs gold.
7. when are you supposed to take pictures – I find the best time to take pictures is when I have a camera. I’ve tried it without one, and I was really disappointed in the results… Unless you’re talking about stealing a picture. In that case, I’d wait until no one’s looking.
6. fantasy clown dresses – Could there possibly be such a thing as a fantasy clown dress? In what twisted mind would a clown dress be a fantasy? I think I’d rather see Ed Asner nude.
5. time travel cases – This exact wording comes up over and over again. Let me clear this up for those of you who are searching for time travel cases. There are none! Time travel is impossible. I am 100% sure about this because if time travel was possible it would have happened already. Try to follow me on this one. Logic dictates that once the time travel barrier is broken, time no longer is a barrier to the ability to travel through time, so time travel will always have existed at that point and every point in time.
4 . jay cutler record – Sucks! This search appears probably about half a dozen times a week. Jay Cutler has good skills, but he is not a good quarterback. Unless he checks his ego at the door, he will never be a winner in the NFL. He has the worst attitude in the NFL since Jeff George.
3. jeff goldblum shirtless jurassic park – This week’s shirtless celebrity is the king of charmingly awkward acting. Everyone knows that the Jurassic period had the best shirtless celebrities.
2. top 5 world of warcraft meltdowns – I’ve never seen a game cause such Agmas Nefesh. Meltdowns have become synonymous with World of Warcraft! I’ve never played, but I feel like I’m suffering from secondary World of Warcraft meltdowns. I think they should be required to include a warning label with this game.
And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:
1. jerry seinfeld nude – This week’s nude celebrity is the king of observational humor. “You ever notice when you’re famous people want to see you nude for some reason? What is wrong with these people?” (Kind of a mixture of Andy Rooney and Jerry Seinfeld. My impressions even suck in writing.)