Stephen Colbert – Lost Days Celebrity of the Day (and Book 4 Update)

Colbert Declares His Love for Lost Days

Fellow Charlestonian Stephen Colbert publicly proclaimed that he loves my book Lost Days.  He even tried to make out with it.  To which I say, “dude, that is gross,” and I would like to proclaim my love for Photoshop.

*BTW – I’m working on Book 4 of the Oz Chronicles for those of you who have been asking and searching.  It is so close to completion.  Hang in there.  I’ve gotten some positive feedback on what I have so far, so I’m hoping you won’t be disappointed.

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J.J. Abrams, Hayden Panettiere, Ricky Gervais – Lost Days Celebrities of the Day

Gervais almost gets me to lose it during the press conference!

J.J. Abrams calls a press conference to declare his love for Lost Days, and Ricky Gervais tries to get me to crack up during an impassioned plea from Abrams to direct the film version of the book.  No one knows why Hayden Panettiere showed up, and no one was complaining.  You just never know who’s going to show up in a Photoshopped picture at a Hollywood press conference.

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Guillermo del Toro – Lost Days Celebrity of the Day

Guillermo del Toro hugs his favorite book Lost Days.

Upon hearing that Spielberg and Scorsese are fighting over the film rights for Lost Days, Guillermo del Toro proclaims, “Dude, did you see Pan’s Labyrinth?  I could totally rock this book and the entire Oz Chronicles series, too!”  To which I say, “Yes you could, Mr. del Toro.  Yes you could.”

Of course, I said this after spending a few quality minutes playing around with Photoshop.

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Freaky Search Friday on Saturday… Sunday, December 19… 20, 2009 Edition

Maybe you'd like to ask Mr. Cougar where humans are on the food chain!

Oye, am I late.  But the freaks are a forgiving bunch.  Here they are in all their glory.  The weird, freaky, and sometimes adorable search terms people used to find my blog.  If you see yours on here, remember, I’m not judging you, but everyone else is. 

10. nicely played, mr stephen king – I like this one because it’s worded in such a way to give the impression that this person was in the middle of an actual conversation with Stephen King.  Nicely played, anonymous googler.

9. bigfoot face to face – Sounds like a promo for an Oprah show.  “Coming up next, Bigfoot face-to-face.” 

8. stefanie meyer – Spelling fail.  Most people get the last name wrong.  Way to be different, anonymous googler. 

7. ed asner bare chested – Not shirtless, but bare chested.  It almost makes Ed Asner come off as sexy… Oh, man, now I’m really going to get some freaky search terms torpedoing my blog.

6. successful husband – Quick tell my wife that someone searching for a successful husband was directed to my blog… On second thought don’t.  Then I’ll have to explain why everyone looking for a shirtless Ed Anser is directed to my blog.

5. christorpher walking fat boy slim – You see why spelling matters?  Now everyone thinks Fatboy Slim has a bladder problem and some guy named Christopher is forced to walk him.  Okay, that’s what I think, anyway.  

4. where do humans come on the food chain – What an odd question.   I guess it’s useful information if you’re about to walk into the jungle or dive into the waters off the coast of Australia, but my impression is that most people searching for this kind of information on the internet aren’t really putting themselves in places where predators lurk about. 

3. peyton manning shirtless – Peyton’s first appearance on the shirtless charts.  I’m sure he’ll cherish this forever.

2. jerry seinfeld nude – And I thought Jerry Seinfeld shirtless was bad.  Seriously, we all know Seinfeld pretty well by now.  Does he seem like the kind of guy who would have nude pictures of himself lying around anywhere?

And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:

1. zak bagans hairy pits picture – Ewww and yuk and barf nuggets.  Really?   Sometimes I imagine that celebrities are so insecure that they google weird stuff about themselves.  I almost believe that Zak was out one night, and he noticed that his hairy pits were showing so he hurried home to see if any of the paparazzi got a picture of it.

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Full Day!

I googled "Bigfoot birthday cake," and this is what came up.

Had a full day of book centered fun!  Started off with an interview on Thunder Radio with Scott Vaughn.  Very cool guy.  I get the sense he really digs SciFi and cryptozoology!  Ended the day talking with the Kids at James Island Charter High School about writing, the Oz Chronicles, publishing, Lost Days and Bigfoot.  They were all insightful, sharp and fun.  The future is looking bright, my friends.  Thanks to Tradd for setting that up.

I’m ending the day with party at a friends house!  They say it’s a Christmas a party, but I like to think it’s my birthday party!

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My newer new author’s photo, not quite so chinny…

 

new author pic

Photo number 105 of the evening. This is my response to, "Look natural!"

…but something is clearly very fascinating to me out of frame.  The photo I posted yesterday (see below) was swiftly nixed, rebuked, torpedoed, iced, virtually torn to shreds, etc., and so forth and so on.  Apparently, I don’t know an unacceptable picture of me when I see it. 

 

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