The top ten freakiest searches of the week – unusual phrases people used to find my blog

Again with shirtless celebrity search?

Again with the shirtless celebrity search?

Apparently,  my blog is a gateway to the interweb for freaks and rumor mongers.  I often share with friends some of the most bizarre keywords people use to find my blog.  My buddy Hannah suggested I make it a weekly post.  I thought, “Wow what a perfect idea.  It takes very little effort, and fulfills my blog post a day commitment.  Yea, Hannah.”

So I give you the first installment of “Freakiest Searches of the Week.”  I will post them as they appear in my statistics without benefit of editing.  I want you to get the total feel of the kind of people that visit this blog.  BTW – I’m not making fun of you.  It’s the other people that read this blog.  You’re cool.  I’ve always told people that about you.

10 – sci-fi original movies suck – Not so much freaky as true.  I’ve stated as much many times myself on this very blog. I just appreciate the “straight to the point” nature of the search terms used.

9 –  the takers movie february 19, 2009 – This one may only be freaky to me.   Did someone make a movie out of my book without telling me?  I talked to a couple of Hollywood film guys a few years ago, but they dropped off my radar.  Quick, check IMDB and see if I need to call a lawyer!

8 – getting over rejevtion – Rejection is terrible, and I’ve written about it a couple of times here, but I have never written about “rejevtion.”  Me thinks I’ve spotted your problem.

7 – why didn’t mj and prince do a song – As far as I know, MJ and Prince did many songs.  In fact, they built a career out of doing songs.

6 – how many times has brett favre come out – Now, you see, this is how rumors get started.

5 – michael  vick shirtless – Someone likes their psychopaths shirtless.  Sure he tortures dogs, but man, is he ripped!

4 – jerry seinfeld shirtless – Someone likes their observational humorists shirtless.  Sure he complains about airline food, but man, is he… ripped?  No really, is he?  Why would someone want to see Seinfeld shirtless?

3 – guy feet videos – I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

2 – pics breast from steroids – It’s hard to know whether or not this person saw this as a benefit or concern.

And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:

1.  old ladies with tattoos – Part of me is glad I don’t know who the person is that googled this particular string of words, but another part of me would love to know so I can inform the authorities!

For the record, I am proud to proclaim that most of the people who crafted these search terms were sorely disappointed when they arrived at my blog.

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Dear Carolina Panthers, PLEASE DO NOT SIGN MICHAEL VICK!

Cute enough to wet down and electrocute?

Go ahead. Wet him down and electrocute him. As long as you can run fast and throw a football, we don't care!

Rumors are swirling that my beloved Carolina Panthers are entertaining the thought of signing Michael Vick to back up an aging  and occasionally erratic Jake Delhomme.  As a fan since the franchise’s first game in 1995, I am begging the Panther’s to repay my loyalty by not signing Vick.  If you do, I’m jumping ship.  I can’t support a team that employ’s a guy who killed and tortured dogs.  I know there is the argument that he has paid his debt to society.  I know that there are dozens of players who are playing in the NFL who have committed crimes against fellow human beings.  I know that Vick is working hard to rehabilitate is reputation.  I’ve heard all the arguments, but it doesn’t matter to me when I read something like this from the Examiner:

“…between 2002 and 2007 Michael Vick and his co-conspirators Purnell Peace, Quanis Phillips and Tony Taylor killed thirteen dogs by various methods including wetting one dog down and electrocuting her, hanging, drowning and shooting others and, in at least one case, by slamming a dog’s body to the ground.”

Vick has a right to earn a living, and I’m not saying he shouldn’t play football.  I’m just saying that I will not support a team that signs him, even if it’s my favorite team.  You know my feelings.  Now it’s your turn to weigh in. Vote in the poll below.  Will you support your favorite NFL team if they sign Vick?  Incidentally, I pass no judgment on you if do support your team with Vick on the roster.  To each his/her own.

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