Vote Walken

The mainstream media would have you believe that this election is over.  That a certain charismatic candidate has charmed the American people into a state of pre-election frenzy of hope & change, that the mere act of voting is wholly unnecessary because their candidate will simply ascend to the throne of U.S. Presidency like some angelic entity that is more ethereal than human. 

Vote Now!  Vote Cowbell!

Vote Now! Vote Cowbell!

So, I’m sending out this plea far and wide.  Don’t believe this election is over.  Our candidate can still win.  All you have to do is vote Walken on Tuesday.  If you want more cowbell, this is the only way you’re going to get it.  The other candidates aren’t even talking about cowbell.  Why?  Because they have no cowbell plan.  It’s all war and taxes with those other presidential hopefuls.  Only Walken wants you to have your cowbell.  Let freedom ring!  (In this case freedom is a metaphor for cowbell.  Get it?)   

 

 

Christopher Walken for President

Walken for Prez!

Walken for Prez!

Recently, I came out in support of Sam Masterson for president. I only did this because I was unaware that there actually are other candidates running for President of the United States. I now regret that endorsement. I am announcing today that I am withdrawing my support for Masterson and throwing the entire weight of my much sought after endorsement behind Christopher Walken. I do this for many reasons. I am a fan of Mr. Walken. I do a very bad impression of Mr. Walken. I’m terrified that if I don’t support him he will hunt me down and shoot me dead. Most of all I’m supporting him because of his platform. It is as follows:

More Cowbell

How can I not vote for the man?

Plea to Obama – No more speeches in the rain without a coat

Dude, put on a coat!

William Henry Harrison thought it was a good idea, too.

Obama, the next time you want to play the “big man” and give a speech in the cold without a coat under a driving rain, remember these three words: William Henry Harrison. And the one lesson you should learn from the video below is never explain historical events under the influence of alcohol.

A Change is Gonna Come… I hope

This is a follow up to yesterday’s post urging young people to change the current election system. This is my favorite musician, Ben Sollee, doing a Sam Cooke cover – A Change is Gonna Come.

Taking the Politicians out of Politics

We are in the homestretch of what has been an interminably long presidential campaign.  Primaries, caucuses, polls, issues, wars, and even attire have been discussed and analyzed ad nauseum.  And where has it gotten us?  Smack in the middle of a competition that is in a virtual dead heat.  The closeness of the race has encouraged some very bad behavior.  Emails have been hacked.  Intentional misstatements have been made.  Race and gender and age have all been used in vicious attacks from all sides of this more than ugly affair.  Both sides are saying experience is an issue while at the same time promoting change.  It is utter madness.   In short, the politicians are ruining this presidential campaign.  As a YA author, I know I should be encouraging kids to take part in the process, but I can’t in good conscience promote their participation.  Why should I? So, they can learn the art of spin, or how to be caddy and unseemly and still have the gall to say you’re taking the high road? 

The only reason I would encourage the youth of America to get involved and pay attention is to learn what needs to be fixed.  In essence, my plea is a plea for help.  To every child from every corner of this country, please save us from this system.  Come up with a better way.  Remove the politicians from politics.  I had a friend suggest that once the two candidates are picked after the primaries we should develop a multiple choice test that covers the ten major issues where each party holds opposite views.  Instead of voting, we all take the test.  Our vote subsequently goes to the candidate with which we most agree.  No fuss.  No muss.  No more personal attacks after the primaries.  We’ll actually talk about the issues.  It sounds like the perfect solution.  

So, young people, if you’re brave and you have the will to enact real change, get involved.  Come up with a plan to make the system about the issues not the politicians.  Please – and if you can come up with a plan before November, that would be great.