According to a study done by Vingo, a mobile voice application company, 1 in 4 American’s admitted to texting while driving, proving once again that Americans really don’t get the concept of multitasking. Now, there is talk of creating a law that actually states you can’t text while driving. Really, people? A law? Let’s just save the trouble of having to pass future laws by making stupidity illegal. If we can’t do that, let’s just create a bunch of laws that state what you can’t do while driving. Here are few suggestions:
Do not grill while driving. Sure everyone likes a nice char grilled burger, but c’mon grilling is for the backyard.
Do not perform surgery while driving. This may only apply to actual surgeons. In fact, amateur surgery is never really a good idea.
Do not have any paranoid delusions while driving. Yes, I’m talking about you.
Do not attempt handstands while driving. This will be called the “Handstands While Driving Law,” but it will also apply to cartwheels, hula-hooping, and playing with yo-yos.
Do not shoot a major motion picture starring Robin Williams while driving. Strangely enough this only applies to movies starring Robin Williams. He can be very distracting.
Do not start a sovereign nation while driving. There’s a lot of paperwork and putting down of rebellions. Park first.
Do not practice any cool ninja moves while driving. You’re not a ninja. Give it up! If you’re a ninja reading this, please disregard this law and accept my trembling apologies, Mr. Supreme Ninja sir.
Do not attempt to drive a second car while driving. Do I really have to explain why this is a bad idea?
Do not try to figure out why New Kids on the Block got back together while driving. They have so tarnished their boy band legacy.
Do not create a “Do not do these things while driving” list while driving. Because, it’s depressing when you realize that as ridiculous as some of these things seem, people may actually try to do them while driving. You’re liable to drive into oncoming traffic.