Vote Walken

The mainstream media would have you believe that this election is over.  That a certain charismatic candidate has charmed the American people into a state of pre-election frenzy of hope & change, that the mere act of voting is wholly unnecessary because their candidate will simply ascend to the throne of U.S. Presidency like some angelic entity that is more ethereal than human. 

Vote Now!  Vote Cowbell!

Vote Now! Vote Cowbell!

So, I’m sending out this plea far and wide.  Don’t believe this election is over.  Our candidate can still win.  All you have to do is vote Walken on Tuesday.  If you want more cowbell, this is the only way you’re going to get it.  The other candidates aren’t even talking about cowbell.  Why?  Because they have no cowbell plan.  It’s all war and taxes with those other presidential hopefuls.  Only Walken wants you to have your cowbell.  Let freedom ring!  (In this case freedom is a metaphor for cowbell.  Get it?)   

 

 

Christopher Walken for President

Walken for Prez!

Walken for Prez!

Recently, I came out in support of Sam Masterson for president. I only did this because I was unaware that there actually are other candidates running for President of the United States. I now regret that endorsement. I am announcing today that I am withdrawing my support for Masterson and throwing the entire weight of my much sought after endorsement behind Christopher Walken. I do this for many reasons. I am a fan of Mr. Walken. I do a very bad impression of Mr. Walken. I’m terrified that if I don’t support him he will hunt me down and shoot me dead. Most of all I’m supporting him because of his platform. It is as follows:

More Cowbell

How can I not vote for the man?